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I feel horrible


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It can be the start of something good to recognize when something is wrong. It helps to be as specific as you can about what you think the problem is, though, at least to yourself, because it's also possible that it's the feeling that something is wrong that's wrong, if you see what I mean. Lots of people feel that something is wrong with them when nothing is. That might mean that you're "right" and the situation around you is what's wrong. So it can be valuable to trust your own instincts, not to mention helping to restore your personal reality.

Sometimes, when faced with difficult or traumatic surroundings, people "dissociate", which means that they begin to separate their reality from the world's reality. It's a natural defense mechanism, but it's also a last resort because it has some pretty negative side-effects. Most importantly, if you separate yourself far enough, you aren't reacting to the world properly any more.

So I would repeat what IrmaJean asked, and add the question of whether there's any help available for you, from friends, counselors, parents, relatives; anyone you might be able to ask. And we're here, for whatever we may be able to offer you.

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