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You're not a bad guy. If what you described is worst thing you will ever do in your life then you are way ahead of most people. Think about all the murder and violent assaults that go on every minute of every day in this world. Just the fact that you are trouble about this sleeping sex episode shows you are a good guy. Most guys could give a rats ass so long as they get their nut. Don't let the world manipulate you with this "your not a good guy stuff". Those same people would sell your heart for a dollar. Took me many years to learn this.

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Everyone deserves to live. Period.

Some choose not to. I don't see that as some form of self-administered justice, just as a mistake that could have been prevented.

If you see yourself as having done wrong in the past, that's what the future is for: doing something different.

All the "what ifs" are a part of the disease of OCD. Please don't make life decisions from that place.

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.... But, beyond this incident all my sexual encounters throughout my life have been fairly normal, and I know I will never ever have sex with a child or rape a girl...

....also think it’s despicable and never ever want to be a scumbag rapist and think it’s awful to do that to someone.

You are not that person any more.

Don't hurt yourself Ben, you can have the future you want.

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