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A place to talk about sexual issues, including performance and lack of desire issues, fetishes, sexual addictions & compulsive pornography use and the impact of these issues on self-esteem and relationships.

I don't know if I can bring myself to write this. For as long as I can remember I have fantasised about having sex little, imagining myself to be younger than I am. I don't know where the idea even came from originally, or why it's something that I like. I have only acted out the roleplay in the virtual world.

Another, umm, thing that I like to roleplay is non-consensual type things. The idea of this happening to me in reality is abhorant, so I don't understand why I would like it as a pretend senrio.

Is there something wrong with me? Well clearly there is, umm, what I'd really like is to understand why I feel the way I do. Then maybe I can rectify that somehow. Does anyone else ever feel this way?

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  • 2 weeks later...
OK Kalima,

Can you tell us what is wrong with you and about your self?


Firstly, I’m sorry about my earlier reply, I was in a bad mood, and that’s a poor excuse.

I feel like I’m whining and monopolising the threds and stuff. I don’t like talking about myself so much, but I don’t suppose anyone’s psychic and can just read my mind, not that if someone could they’d get much sense. I lack clarity, I’m finding coherent thinking difficult.

Ok, so I put this in the sexuality forum so I guess that’s what I should write about. I’ve never had a relationship. I wont let anyone close enough to be more than friends, and even that I’m prolly not that great at. I don’t open up easily and I don’t trust easily. My sexual fantasies at times, make me feel ashamed, guilty, but that depends on my mood I guess. If I am feeling rational I can say to myself, you wouldn’t like this in reality but it’s not hurting anyone so why worry, it’s pretend.

Other times I think that I must have a really sick mind to think up some of the things I do. I roleplay rape, but not just that, but that with me as the child I once was.

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Guest ASchwartz

HI Kalima,

Please do not apologize for being in a bad mood. If you cannot be in a bad mood here, where can you be???:)

Your sexual fantasies may seem awful to you but, without knowing them, I can assure you that everyone has sexual fantasies. Because you have not been in an intimate relationship you have no way of learning about your self and others.

Can you tell us what you are afraid of about other people and about getting close to them? Have you thought about psychotherapy?


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I've fantasized about being raped before (it sounded like that was your fantasy, too). I know it's just a fantasy, though, so I don't think it indicates anything is wrong with me. Everyone has some kind of fantasy, and those fantasies don't always mesh with our moral values. That's ok, though. Just like I might fantasize about being violent towards someone even though I'm not at all a violent person - it's just a fantasy.

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  • 3 months later...
  • 1 month later...

i too have rape fantasies. i am also a domme at times, and a submissive others. does that make me screwed up? no. well, not in my opinion. i am in a healthy relationship, recently married. everything i do with my partner is safe, sane and consensual. we have acted out a rape. it is alot better to do it with role play than to go out and find a victim on the street. or put yourself in the wrong position and be the victim.

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  • 3 weeks later...

You are all correct. Many women do enjoy roleplays of rape. However, there are some that do not. So, it's best (as with other forms of sexual behavior with a partner) to keep lines of communication open before, during, and after the role play. Making sure that everyone is getting their needs met is really important, as is checking in to ensure that no one is uncomfortable, upset, or doing something against their will.

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