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Is there something wrong with me?


Jatame
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I didn't know how to classify this, so I just put it in depression.

When im in public or at school, I can be either really excitable, really sad, or just feel normal. I rarely experience violent thoughts.

But when Im by myself at home, I get real mad. Like, I'll be okay one minute, but as soon as I think abou something that would only make me mildly upset at school, I feel like an absolute psycho. In my head, I picture violent scenes of hurting people, or making them feel uncomfortable, or just completing spazzing out. During these short periods of time (5 minutes or so), I feel kinda satisfied as well as crazy, but then to get rid of the thoughts I need to jerk my head, and then it only takes me a minute to calm down and go back to normal.

Is there something wrong with me?

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Hello, Jatame, welcome! :)

We can't tell you any diagnose, but perhaps "labeling" isn't that important after all. What matters is your life; your feelings, your ability to function, ... It seems you're suffering for no obvious reason and you'd benefit from gaining some self-understanding and perhaps also mastering some more self-control. Talking about it with a counselor / psychologist could be insightful and helpful. What do you think? Do you have such possibility?

Are there some triggers that usually initiate those outburst of anger and violent thoughts?

May I ask you also how old are you? You mention school, I imagine you're a teenager (?)... That's a complicated period of life and many confusing things can happen in an adolescent mind. It doesn't have to be serious / dangerous, it may "come and go", but it's probably always better to pay attention to it when it seem to strange / hurtful / disturbing / ... I really believe a good professional could help you s that this won't get worse and so that it disappear rather sooner than later.

Take care!

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