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Trying to break SPS


Darren15
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I haven't felt the need to come on here for a few weeks to even look at posts like I usually do. That's probably because I thought I'd cracked this whole sps business. I was getting hard ons and thinking 'it's not THAT bad' and just viewing it in a different light althought I still had the thought in the back of my head that it's only 5 inches, I thought I was at peace with it. Low and behold.. I will just have one glance at it when it's either not fully erect or the flaccid is smaller than usual then all my thoughts of incidents with people similar to my size have been ridiculed and most people have bigger just bring me back to square one.

Anybody else get something similar where their opinion of their body/penis can change almost over night? Or is it just me lol

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Absolutely.......I am married long term and my wife says I am all that she needs and I feel quite OK with my situaltion, but when we get into a fight I always have to be the one to give in because I know if we ever broke up, this middle aged man would be all done with women. My and my small cock could never make it on the dating scene.

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TimmyStan, I was married for a long time and had the same worries. It was my divorce (in my 40s) that broke my SPS because the new women I met loved having sex with me. I went into the dating scene with confidence because I felt I had no choice. The gamble paid off. I'm not saying you should get a divorce, but you shouldn't let this fear drive you to be dishonest with your relationship.

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TimmyStan, I was married for a long time and had the same worries. It was my divorce (in my 40s) that broke my SPS because the new women I met loved having sex with me. I went into the dating scene with confidence because I felt I had no choice. The gamble paid off. I'm not saying you should get a divorce, but you shouldn't let this fear drive you to be dishonest with your relationship.

Did your wife not enjoy it?

I agree that Timmy shouldn't be dishonest due to your fears, if you've found one person to accept you then why couldn't you do it a second time

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Darren15, my ex-wife did not enjoy sex with me as much as subsequent partners have, but the issue wasn't penis size, it was overall compatability. Still, I had the same fears voiced by TimmyStan when I was married, because my ex and I were both virgins when we started dating. I figured I just "dodged a bullet" with her on this issue. Come to think of it, I was probably more willing to marry her because she had no issue with my size, when I should have recognized that we weren't right for each other on other levels.

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Darren15, my ex-wife did not enjoy sex with me as much as subsequent partners have, but the issue wasn't penis size, it was overall compatability. Still, I had the same fears voiced by TimmyStan when I was married, because my ex and I were both virgins when we started dating. I figured I just "dodged a bullet" with her on this issue. Come to think of it, I was probably more willing to marry her because she had no issue with my size, when I should have recognized that we weren't right for each other on other levels.

Compatibility is the biggest thing when it comes to sex in my opinion, you could have all the inches you want but if there isn't a mutual connection on the sexual front then you're struggling. I hope I don't fall into that trap of sub conciously settling for a girl just because they accept my size and not because I truly care about her (not saying that happened to you by any means!)

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That's right; don't think that you must stick with a particular relationship just because size is not an issue. It probably won't be an issue with others, either. But our mind is a strange thing, and we can easily be convinced that we simply lucked out with a partner who likes us as we are, physically, and if we leave, we are doomed.

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mmm… I would counsel caution here….

It kinda depends on how under average you are.

If a guy who had say, a 1 inch erection, found a girl who could overlook that, I would be very reluctant to advise him to chuck her because she wasnt 'perfectly compatible'.

I mean it might be another 10 years before such a guy found another girl who could compromise that much.

You all know Im being realistic here.

However if you are ok looking and have say, 5 inches, you can aford to hold out for someone better suited.

Im in a very low percentile of the population- and have never met a women who could overlook my size, so I cannot afford to be too choosy.

I know thats a bit cynical and unromantic but you have to deal your hand the best way possible.

And betting high on the 4 of clubs is a fools errand…

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mmm… I would counsel caution here….

It kinda depends on how under average you are.

If a guy who had say, a 1 inch erection, found a girl who could overlook that, I would be very reluctant to advise him to chuck her because she wasnt 'perfectly compatible'.

I mean it might be another 10 years before such a guy found another girl who could compromise that much.

You all know Im being realistic here.

However if you are ok looking and have say, 5 inches, you can aford to hold out for someone better suited.

Im in a very low percentile of the population- and have never met a women who could overlook my size, so I cannot afford to be too choosy.

I know thats a bit cynical and unromantic but you have to deal your hand the best way possible.

And betting high on the 4 of clubs is a fools errand…

Yeah I do agree that there's a big difference between micro and inch or so off average. What you've said completely makes sense but in Timmys case, I'm sure ive seen him say he's about 5 inches so I don't think he should be dishonest (not saying he has been by any means). I would advise anybody to be true to themselves in a situation regarding an argument with a partner and put your fears to the side but as you said, it could be a case of trying to make the best of things

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Guest RandomDude

Yeah I do agree that there's a big difference between micro and inch or so off average. What you've said completely makes sense but in Timmys case, I'm sure ive seen him say he's about 5 inches so I don't think he should be dishonest (not saying he has been by any means). I would advise anybody to be true to themselves in a situation regarding an argument with a partner and put your fears to the side but as you said, it could be a case of trying to make the best of things

I'm thinking it depends on girth also. If someone is (lets say) 5.5 inch girth he could possibly get away with being 1-2 inch below average length more than someone who is below average both with length and girth?

(Course there are always limits. Jessie mentioned 1 inch erection. I think that is true micro penis length, and so is not enough for normal penetration regardless of what girth is.)

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I'm thinking it depends on girth also. If someone is (lets say) 5.5 inch girth he could possibly get away with being 1-2 inch below average length more than someone who is below average both with length and girth?

(Course there are always limits. Jessie mentioned 1 inch erection. I think that is true micro penis length, and so is not enough for normal penetration regardless of what girth is.)

Girth is a bit blurred on how much of an importance it plays to me. I do agree with your statement that the larger the girth, the more you can get away in the length department (again with limits)

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Just a quick vent..

It would help me if I had a bigger flaccid (3 inches on average but can be worse) and if I could be consistent in my size when in all positions (standing up and laying down) as it can completely vary from whatever position im in, nearly 5.5 laying down which isnt bad but that's full on. Today I got a very partial erection when I woke up, looked in the mirror and my god it looked less than encouraging! Then I just think if a girl saw me with that, she'd probably laugh me out the place, regardless of any measurements which would send me into a state before square one lol

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I really think you are beating yourself up needlessly Darren. Don't get me wrong, we all do it for one reason or another so not trying to invalidate your feelings.

It's a fucking shame: some asshole somewhere decided years ago that 6 inches is the minimum number and anyone under that feels horrible.

Nothing but measurements our whole life: age, height, weight, grades, income, strength, zip code, all sorts of performance measures at work. No wonder men are angry.

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I really think you are beating yourself up needlessly Darren. Don't get me wrong, we all do it for one reason or another so not trying to invalidate your feelings.

It's a fucking shame: some asshole somewhere decided years ago that 6 inches is the minimum number and anyone under that feels horrible.

Nothing but measurements our whole life: age, height, weight, grades, income, strength, zip code, all sorts of performance measures at work. No wonder men are angry.

Very true Victim!

Curse the start of the 'under 6 inches? Question yourself' club

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Guest RandomDude

Just a quick vent..

It would help me if I had a bigger flaccid (3 inches on average but can be worse) and if I could be consistent in my size when in all positions (standing up and laying down) as it can completely vary from whatever position im in, nearly 5.5 laying down which isnt bad but that's full on. Today I got a very partial erection when I woke up, looked in the mirror and my god it looked less than encouraging! Then I just think if a girl saw me with that, she'd probably laugh me out the place, regardless of any measurements which would send me into a state before square one lol

I understand your pain Darren, I really do. But I reckon your (and my) situation is not so bad as it could be. I know any sort of male insecurity is a bummer. And penis insecurity is one fucking bastard of a bummer! But assuming the issue is the length (more than to do with girth) I don't think being about 0.5 to 1 inch below average is actually going to make so much difference to a woman.

I agree with Victim, this idea that you have to be 6 inch or over to be normal doesn't make sense. Ive looked into this quite a bit over the years (maybe like most people here LOL) From what I understand its based on one bullshit self reporting study from the 1940s which got taken unquestioned into school textbooks for many years. But over the last 20 years there have been dozens of other studies. The ones where the measuring gets done by researchers always have a lower average than 6 inch. And one study where the people didn't choose whether or not to take part (military recruits) has the average nearer to 5 than 6 inch. This tells us a story - guys brag and exaggerate about cock size!

The true average is probably around 5.5 inch, give or take. But there is probably a spread of lengths that are normal - average plus minus about an inch.

As for this thing about lazy erections... just take a little bit of Cialis and you'll do fine. Trust me bro! :)

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I understand your pain Darren, I really do. But I reckon your (and my) situation is not so bad as it could be. I know any sort of male insecurity is a bummer. And penis insecurity is one fucking bastard of a bummer! But assuming the issue is the length (more than to do with girth) I don't think being about 0.5 to 1 inch below average is actually going to make so much difference to a woman.

I agree with Victim, this idea that you have to be 6 inch or over to be normal doesn't make sense. Ive looked into this quite a bit over the years (maybe like most people here LOL) From what I understand its based on one bullshit self reporting study from the 1940s which got taken unquestioned into school textbooks for many years. But over the last 20 years there have been dozens of other studies. The ones where the measuring gets done by researchers always have a lower average than 6 inch. And one study where the people didn't choose whether or not to take part (military recruits) has the average nearer to 5 than 6 inch. This tells us a story - guys brag and exaggerate about cock size!

The true average is probably around 5.5 inch, give or take. But there is probably a spread of lengths that are normal - average plus minus about an inch.

As for this thing about lazy erections... just take a little bit of Cialis and you'll do fine. Trust me bro! :)

It's hard to gauge what people will think about that grey area of being 0.5 or so below average so I'm not sure what to make of it. I know what the stats say but being part of sports teams I've seen a lot of flaccid penises and it makes me think that those stats are wrong for some reason lol.

It's kind of crazy that I'm beating myself up over 0.75 of an inch but that's what insecurities do i guess! If only I was that extra bit bigger then oh how I would be at peace.

I've never considered taking any type of erection drug purely because it may seem a bit weird for the girl at my age but it's something I won't rule out

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Guest RandomDude

It's hard to gauge what people will think about that grey area of being 0.5 or so below average

I don't see how 0.5 inch of extra length is making any practical difference? (We'd need to ask a girl tho, I guess.)

I know what the stats say but being part of sports teams I've seen a lot of flaccid penises and it makes me think that those stats are wrong for some reason lol.

I know what you're saying. But part of SPS mind fuckery is that we overestimate other dudes and we underestimate ourselves. Some of this stuff is purely in the mind, but its to do with optical viewpoints too. I once noticed this walking into a hotel ensuite bathroom with a huge full length mirror - from a certain distance full frontal they really can look much bigger than looking down! Weird but actually true.

I've never considered taking any type of erection drug purely because it may seem a bit weird for the girl at my age but it's something I won't rule out

The great thing about Cialis is nobody needs to know! You pop one and you're good to go for the whole weekend basically :) (Not like Viagra which only lasts about 5 hours.)

No I don't own shares in the drug company LOL.

(You're actually right. A guy under age 40 probably shouldn't be needing these pills.)

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Also, there is some correlation between flaccid and erect size but some guys really are growers so you really should not base too much on flaccid size.

Yeah this is totally true.

I'd say its true also that some guys are show'ers! Seriously, I've seen stuff online in the past (like penis galleries with erect and non-erect pics) and the bigger guys don't always grow more than about an inch, while the more average dude roughly double, I'd say.

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I don't see how 0.5 inch of extra length is making any practical difference? (We'd need to ask a girl tho, I guess.)

I know what you're saying. But part of SPS mind fuckery is that we overestimate other dudes and we underestimate ourselves. Some of this stuff is purely in the mind, but its to do with optical viewpoints too. I once noticed this walking into a hotel ensuite bathroom with a huge full length mirror - from a certain distance full frontal they really can look much bigger than looking down! Weird but actually true.

The great thing about Cialis is nobody needs to know! You pop one and you're good to go for the whole weekend basically :) (Not like Viagra which only lasts about 5 hours.)

No I don't own shares in the drug company LOL.

(You're actually right. A guy under age 40 probably shouldn't be needing these pills.)

The 0.5 of inch is probably more for peace of mind, I can't imagine it matters to the girl that much.

I try not to pay too much attention to flaccid size but it's not something I ignore because at the end of the day, that's what you start from and girls will see it at some point.

Over the course of time I may try Cialis but for now I hope Id be able to achieve full size when it comes to it lol

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Also, there is some correlation between flaccid and erect size but some guys really are growers so you really should not base too much on flaccid size.

I really think you need to get some female feedback Darren. Go for it.

I want some female feedback but it's easier said than done

I don't want it to be completely meaningless and random. There's more chance of it being a bad experience and me being more insecure that way

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