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Don't really know if I'm OK :/


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Hi I'm 21 years old, never been in a relationship or had sex with anyone, and a couple of months ago I met a boy. I'm a really insecure person and this last relationship did't even take shape. It didn't because I didn't have sexual relations with him and that shut him down.

The thing is that I think I can't have sex without knowing that the person is going to want a stable relation with me. This is driving me crazy, I don't know if it's normal to demand what I mentioned. My emotions turn from anger to sadness and then to happiness in so short time, and sometimes I hate that boy and others I just try to excuse him (he told me to be friends).

I just want to feel in peace but I can't. :(

Sorry for my english and I hope someone can give me a good advice.

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IrePache, welcome to the community.

I'm sorry you are feeling distressed. I think it makes sense to wait to have sexual relations until you feel ready. It's always your choice whether or not to do this with someone. Did you try talking with your partner then and telling him how you felt about this? Maybe you might tell him it isn't that you aren't interested in him but that you need to feel stable and ready first?

Do you feel unstable emotions in other aspects of your life or just within relationships? How is your relationship with yourself?

Take care.

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My relationship with myself is weird right now. I'm like in the film "Inside out" with all my identities ruined, but It's something that I accept and starting to recover from. Sometime I miss my past-me, caracteristics that defined me and now it doesn't. Anyway I think it's not a real problem, I'll try to revive what I was if it's possible, and if it isn't I'll find my new self, so it's not a big deal (without excluding personal divelopment, I don't want to live in a constant past).

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