The Story Of "Robert"

[robert]

I Guess since im a regular here i should finally tell my story. like so many others have shared their stories. my name is not robert my real full name is "bobby" yeah... i hate my f****** name im named after my dad. so as you know my life has been HELL since my conception growing up with an physically abusive father my eldest brother got the physical half of it me and my other brother got the verbal abusive part half my sister was never at the butt end of his RAGE. my mother was the main target eventually she divorced him.then she eventually started taking it out on us doing to us what she wish she could have done to him.then there was the whole "HIGH SCHOOL" thing were it all started for me. already having low self esteem and poor self image i became the prime target for bullying i can remember in elementary when i would get physically spit on and me not doing a damn thing about it. so as usual during gym class i hated changing even if i smelled i refused to shower or take off my clothes i was terrified. so like always while "normal" high schoolers were having fun and exploring their sexuality there i was a loner with nothing playing video games etc the usual loner stuff. as i watched my brother and other sibilings get invited to go out with their friends on friday and saturday nights and get invited to parties etc there i was didnt get invited to anyhing for obvious reasons yeah i learned in my teenage years i was a certified. i overheard in highschool how this one guy got ridiculed for having a small penis i still remember his name too it was justin.so like always i discovered i was small and that literally was the beginning of the end for me. fast foward now im 27 yrs old and a virgin nothing has changed except me having a beard in fact i dont even remember my penis growing any during puberty i woke up this morning and realized how worthless my life really is. as you know i suffer from a porn addiction and im slowly becoming aroused by SPH and watching hung guys plow women and being turned on by the guy being hung. ive officially hit rock bottom something i never i thought would happen. im starting to find pleasure in my pain which is why i would rather die i realized that me and my 8yr old nephew share the same size penis flaccid when erect im not much bigger when i realized that i felt so ashamed guilty and worthless....more so.to be honest ive never felt like a man no matter how much i try to convince myself otherwise

ive always felt shame.my life is a mess right now and im on the verge of suicide there is no hope for me maybe for other guys but im just too damaged too broke to repair im a broken man right now and i give up i accept that im inferior as much as i hate it no one takes a small penis guy seriously once someone finds out its over ive never had a girlfriend no nothing ive completely withdrawn myself from women because why bother what can i possibly offer them other than my negative attitude about life rubbing off onto them. im not a religious person but i do believe in hell because i live it everyday. i pray for death because i see no hope i havent been happy for many of years im almost 30 and hasn't gotten any better yet only worse i see me dying as a way of showing mercy by the looks of my whole life i never stood a chance. welcome to the world according to "robert" (Bobby)i hate my name it sucks

Sorry About My Bad Grammar & Punctuation!

[Shrimp Fried Life]

I think the fact you have never had a girlfriend, never had a woman/girl who cares about you is what is driving most of your anguish. It's amazing the effect of having a woman who cares about you can make on your psyche. It doesn't mean all your fears and all the other shit that bugs us all will disappear but it brings it down to a level that makes life easier to bear.

You've convinced yourself that no woman would want you. You have made the decision for them. You've never given them the option.

Sounds like you had a shitty childhood so you have a right to feel a lot of the pain you do. Don't you think though, that you owe it to yourself to at least try and find someone. If you can make a connection with a woman and if you feel it necassary you can explain to her your fears and apprehensions. She will either pass or give it a go. It's highly unlikely she will be mean to you. Whether she goes for it will be more up to your personality than it will your size. If you come across as too whiny, too desperate, too insecure that will be more likely to drive her away.

I was a virgin until I was 43. I don't rember feeling the way you do at that age. I still had hope then. I was always "well it hasn't happened yet but it could". it wasn't until I got into my mid 30's that things started going bad. The feelings of despair started to creep in slowly. I'm not sure if I could go back and do it all over again I would do anything different. I am who I am. So I would probably make the same choices.

I was always afraid to approach women. Small talk is like hell to me. Plus the fact that I never socialized and the jobs I had were all male dominated jobs I was never around women. I never dated, never had any female friends never had any exposure to women. I spent most of my life alone watching TV or listening to movies. Even when I went somewhere I was usually alone.

Four years ago I finally got a job where I got to be around lots of women. I finally came out of my shell. Primarilly thanks to a gorgeous young lady that I got to work one on one with. I finally find it quite easy to talk to women. Unfortunately my social life is still shit. I don;'t have money to date or clothes to wear. Plus I have the 3 things that many women sometimes find dealbreakers small penis, erectile dysfunction and no experience sexually. I'm not sure how a woman would react when confronted with a man with all three.

You're young. take advantage of your youth, take a chance. Sometimes life is a gamble. You are faced with a big gamble but the payoff would be huge...your life.

[robert]

I'm addicted to porn myself. I enjoy watching big dicks plow women too. I focus a lot on the dick when I watch porn now. I've fantasised about having one in my mouth. My friend has a 6 inch cock, he is bi and isn't shy to show it off. I'm straight but I'm starting to have fantasies of him using me, dominating me and taking me in the ass. He has offered to suck me off but I don't enjoy that idea, but I get aroused by the idea of being his bitch.

I live at home. This morning I saw my dad's cock. It's as small as mine but slightly thicker, now I know why I have this sorry ass dick. My little brother also has a little one.

I suck socially. I feel stupid most of the Time but I'm only really stupid all of the time. I failed my interview today. Failed to answere simple questions. The job was guaranteed. I was recommended for the job by the principal of the college I'd be working for if I got the job (I fake confidence very well I guess) I just had to show up. Id have to fail royally to not get the job and I did exactly that. If feel awful for the principal. She trusted me and I let her down.

I wish I could just kill myself but I am religious so I believe in a hell so that keeps me here, suffering, day in, day out.

i swear man you and I are going through the same things honestly i can say when i watch porn im more so fixated on the guy and his penis. idk man i dont know if im gay or just curious because a straight guy shouldn't get aroused by another guys penis

[robert]

I think the fact you have never had a girlfriend, never had a woman/girl who cares about you is what is driving most of your anguish. It's amazing the effect of having a woman who cares about you can make on your psyche. It doesn't mean all your fears and all the other shit that bugs us all will disappear but it brings it down to a level that makes life easier to bear.

You've convinced yourself that no woman would want you. You have made the decision for them. You've never given them the option.

Sounds like you had a shitty childhood so you have a right to feel a lot of the pain you do. Don't you think though, that you owe it to yourself to at least try and find someone. If you can make a connection with a woman and if you feel it necassary you can explain to her your fears and apprehensions. She will either pass or give it a go. It's highly unlikely she will be mean to you. Whether she goes for it will be more up to your personality than it will your size. If you come across as too whiny, too desperate, too insecure that will be more likely to drive her away.

I was a virgin until I was 43. I don't rember feeling the way you do at that age. I still had hope then. I was always "well it hasn't happened yet but it could". it wasn't until I got into my mid 30's that things started going bad. The feelings of despair started to creep in slowly. I'm not sure if I could go back and do it all over again I would do anything different. I am who I am. So I would probably make the same choices.

I was always afraid to approach women. Small talk is like hell to me. Plus the fact that I never socialized and the jobs I had were all male dominated jobs I was never around women. I never dated, never had any female friends never had any exposure to women. I spent most of my life alone watching TV or listening to movies. Even when I went somewhere I was usually alone.

Four years ago I finally got a job where I got to be around lots of women. I finally came out of my shell. Primarilly thanks to a gorgeous young lady that I got to work one on one with. I finally find it quite easy to talk to women. Unfortunately my social life is still shit. I don;'t have money to date or clothes to wear. Plus I have the 3 things that many women sometimes find dealbreakers small penis, erectile dysfunction and no experience sexually. I'm not sure how a woman would react when confronted with a man with all three.

You're young. take advantage of your youth, take a chance. Sometimes life is a gamble. You are faced with a big gamble but the payoff would be huge...your life.

THANKS!!! I Just get too nervous when im around or near women im socially awkward im not good on sparking up conversations. you seem to have a lot of experience when dealing with sps. honestly even if i wanted to talk to women my confidence is non nonexistent right now it just sucks being alone all of the time life sucks big time having a small penis. i sympathize with your situation its tough having a small penis seems to effect every aspect of your life. stay strong man!!

[sara89]

no one takes a small penis guy seriously once someone finds out its over

Why should friends/random people care about the size of your penis? It might be an issue in a relationship but in your daily life the people shouldn't care. They

don't see it anyway, right?

I can see that you have been suffering over a decade. I believe that high school can be a very tough time...

Luckily we aren't in high school anymore . We are somewhat adults now, who are in general more open minded and less mean/silly as school kids.

ive never had a girlfriend no nothing ive completely withdrawn myself from women because why bother what can i possibly offer them other than my negative attitude about life rubbing off onto them

You can't change the size of your penis. But you could try to change your attitude. I agree with you that such an attitude is a very negative thing. And of course I also agree that it's not easy to change such an attitude. There is no real recipe... x)

But I am sure that you have other things to offer, maybe an open ear, tenderness, a will to give and understanding (of course hard to say without knowing you).

I think the fact you have never had a girlfriend, never had a woman/girl who cares about you is what is driving most of your anguish. It's amazing the effect of having a woman who cares about you can make on your psyche. It doesn't mean all your fears and all the other shit that bugs us all will disappear but it brings it down to a level that makes life easier to bear.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Part of the problem would be solved after having found a special someone I guess.

Challenge of trying to find someone accepted? ^^ =)

[themike]

Hi Robert. We are at the same ages and with the same condition. Now im in a moment in my life that I want to change and stop suffering.

This week I realize that sps is really a mental ill. Yes, penis size is a fact but it's physical. The true is that if a girl wants to enjoy her sexuality, size doesnt matters.

It's really hard. This month is my first without porn and without sexual encounters with prostitutes. For me sex is a hell because I have lost control of my sexual desires. I am adicted to sex and porn...and this have ruined my libido and life. Now I dont enjoy having sex or the constant thinking about sex with girls around me.

Why Im telling you this? Because I really believe that sps has controlled my life and actions...producing me more suffer. And now, that I begin to focus me on other parts of my life.

I dont want to lie. I blame my penis size. It's a strong thought in my mind...but is stupid for me to hurt me more. All the people has problems, it's our fate. I start a new life. At the moment without sex. And with a terapists Im conquered my insecurity and lack of social skills.

[Resolute]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Part of the problem would be solved after having found a special someone I guess.

Challenge of trying to find someone accepted? ^^ =)

i'm afraid that finding a "special someone" isn't a real solution in most cases, for more than one reason. one, is that it doesn't address the underlying cause(s), just the symptoms. two, that "special someone" usually turns out to be not so special, and all hell breaks loose. in short, i strongly discourage people to try to "cure" themselves by finding "a special someone".

[sara89]

i'm afraid that finding a "special someone" isn't a real solution in most cases, for more than one reason. one, is that it doesn't address the underlying cause(s), just the symptoms. two, that "special someone" usually turns out to be not so special, and all hell breaks loose. in short, i strongly discourage people to try to "cure" themselves by finding "a special someone".

Yeah okay, you are right up to a point, making yourself dependent of somebody is never a good solution...

@themike Your thoughts and actions are great . Go for it, I am sure that you'll become happier after some time has passed.

Would be great to hear from you again.

[robert]

Hi Robert. We are at the same ages and with the same condition. Now im in a moment in my life that I want to change and stop suffering.

This week I realize that sps is really a mental ill. Yes, penis size is a fact but it's physical. The true is that if a girl wants to enjoy her sexuality, size doesnt matters.

It's really hard. This month is my first without porn and without sexual encounters with prostitutes. For me sex is a hell because I have lost control of my sexual desires. I am adicted to sex and porn...and this have ruined my libido and life. Now I dont enjoy having sex or the constant thinking about sex with girls around me.

Why Im telling you this? Because I really believe that sps has controlled my life and actions...producing me more suffer. And now, that I begin to focus me on other parts of my life.

I dont want to lie. I blame my penis size. It's a strong thought in my mind...but is stupid for me to hurt me more. All the people has problems, it's our fate. I start a new life. At the moment without sex. And with a terapists Im conquered my insecurity and lack of social skills.

I feel the same way having a small penis has lowered my self esteem I have no social life it's hard trying to live with a small penis

[robert]

What will you be getting up to these holidays?

nothing really maybe with family I hate holidaus though

[Victimorthecrime]

Even though I got nothing to do I still like holidays. Any day off from work is ok w me!

Why do you dislike holidays robert? Don't you enjoy the company of family and friends?

[robert]

Even though I got nothing to do I still like holidays. Any day off from work is ok w me!

Why do you dislike holidays robert? Don't you enjoy the company of family and friends?

not really im kind of anti social its hard for me to socialize with people I just hate the fake jolly happiness on holidays people and their fake joy and well wishing my family is ok I wasn't always like this lets just say life has turned me into a cold distant depressed angry person

[robert]

Well that's exactly what I'll be doing, chilling with family.

thats cool

[Victimorthecrime]

Are there any relatives you like robert? An Uncle or cousin?

Sometimes you got to love yourself and let the world know they can go suck it if they don't like it. A lot of times people take their cues on how to treat you based on how you treat yourself.

[robert]

Hey Robert, hope you don't mind me asking what DAW you use to compose your music?

fl studio and reason sometimes pro tools I had a mpc but it broke but I mainly use fl studio its a very fast daw for creating music in a simple way

[robert]

Are there any relatives you like robert? An Uncle or cousin?

Sometimes you got to love yourself and let the world know they can go suck it if they don't like it. A lot of times people take their cues on how to treat you based on how you treat yourself.

im very close to my brother the uncle I was close to died this year of cancer my cousins and I are not close during our teen year we were but now we all are adults we are not close anymore