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I'm lost.

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Hello everyone, I will start off with I have been dealing with anxiety since middle school ( I am now 21) and it has gotten worse and now I believe I have OCD, the reason being is because for most of last year and this year I was convinced I had schizophrenia, I told my closest relatives this issue they didn't believe me and they told me it was all in my head. I recently let go of the thoughts of being a schizophrenic and now have jump to the conclusion I may be a pedophile. Whenever a small girl pops into my mind I get a groin response which makes my worried and scared I may be one. I have cried and try to tell myself that I am not a pedophile and I would never harm a children but the thoughts keep popping into my mind and it's driving me crazy.

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Hi kingdomofgiants

I'm no expert on this subject, but until a real expert joins the discussion (and maybe corrects me), i'll give you these ideas:

(1) thoughts, feelings, and bodily responses don't make you a bad person. As Resolute has pointed out, it is what you DO or DON'T Do that matters here.

(2) i'm noticing that you're labeling yourself. No psychiatrist has diagnosed you as a pedophile (unless, of course, you've received that diagnosis and have simply chosen to not share that diagnosis here. Which is your right). I would imagine that your feelings are already enough to create some shame for you; don't make it worse by labeling yourself based on a diffuse (and possibly temporary) sexual response that you (apparently) haven't acted on.

(3) you can CHOOSE to do the right thing and not approach minors sexually. You can CHOOSE to not look at child porn. If you make these good choices, then you are being a GOOD PERSON. A good person isn't someone who has no temptation to do evil; a good person is someone who experiences the temptation but chooses to not do evil. So keep making good choices. That will make you a good person, and that will be a reason to not be ashamed of yourself.

And keep posting here. We want to support you in your good choices.

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