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My so called life


Small

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(I wasn't referring to cremation, but in truth my wishes may not be possible, yet anyway. I have read about it, but it doesn't seem like common practice. I may need to live another 40 years. Sounds like a plan.)

I'm glad you find comfort visiting your grandmother's grave, Klingsor. I like the idea of planting flowers. New growth. I you find it peaceful and healing.

I hope today is a better day for you, Small.

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@Klingsor

That's interesting, I've been taught to walk around graves as opposed to over them too. I think what bothers me the most is the distance the graveyard is from "home" & how it's accessible by anyone. It was raining when I was there too. Anyone it's infinitely worse when the person in question is family, so I am sorry again for your loss. May your grandma rest in peace. 

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@IrmaJean

My birthday is tomorrow so I recieve them then, but i have been naughty and tried them on to make sure they fit. Anyway, I struggled. I can stand upright on them but I couldn't move. So I'm a little worried that i can't do it. The floor I stood on was slippery, so I tried them on carpet and I felt more comfortable. But still, idk. If I pick up rollerskating and that's a big if, I imagine it will take a lot of practice. 

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4 hours ago, Small said:

@IrmaJean

My birthday is tomorrow so I recieve them then, but i have been naughty and tried them on to make sure they fit. Anyway, I struggled. I can stand upright on them but I couldn't move. So I'm a little worried that i can't do it. The floor I stood on was slippery, so I tried them on carpet and I felt more comfortable. But still, idk. If I pick up rollerskating and that's a big if, I imagine it will take a lot of practice. 

@Small, I'm a firm believer in the cliché that the best things in life don't come easy. Practice is what's required to make us good at anything and there are very few people with born skills. Most come to them through practice and trial and error. If you fall, get your ass up and try again. You only fail when you give up.

Wow, that was several clichés at once but I think you get my point.

On the note of burial preferences, I am a Christian and firmly believe in an afterlife and that the body remaining here is an empty shell similar to the exoskeleton on a molting insect. I know that some of you do not have the same beliefs as me and I'm not trying to impose mine just explain them. Based on what I believe, I could personally care less what happens to my remains. In my opinion the entire process is for the mourners much more so than the dead. I've already told my family to go the cheapest way out because i do not believe in wasting money on something so frivolous as an expensive casket, a fancy mosque, or some elaborate funeral service. Just stick me in a pine box and bury me in the woods.

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I hope you have some positive moments today on your birthday! 

I find it feels rewarding to learn something new, to an even greater degree now than when I was younger. I doubt anyone could put on a pair of skates for the first time and immediately be great at it. It'll take some practice and patience, but you'll get there.

 

ice_skating-4069.gif

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Happy Birthday, Small.

(My brain is now supplying me with a line from Jethro Tull:  "skating away on the thin ice of the new day" ...)

But are these roller- or ice-skates?

For what it's worth, my parents opted to be cremated, and to be scattered in a particular spot in a park they were find of.  So they're together, we can "visit" them, and no casket or gravestone or digging their way out if they become zombies.

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They are roller skates not ice skates. I've been practicing for a few hours today. I'm still quite shaky, I've fallen a number of times too. But i can walk around in them, as well as roll around in them. I've been doing laps around a room in my parents house. Anyway, i haven't been able to do the traditional motion required to fully skate yet. Seems out of reach. My mum upset me by saying that i couldn't pick it up because skating is something you learn when you're young. It's funny because when i was young i desperately wanted skates but my parents refused to buy them for me.

 

Edit: mentioned this to her and she says she can't remember. But that they had got my younger sister a pair when she asked for one. It pissed me off. I do remember her minnie mouse pair of skates she kept in the shed, but I assumed that they were from a relative. If she was allowed a pair why was i labelled "naughty" for asking for a pair too. 

 

Anyway, my childhood is rife with this sort of stuff. Quite frankly it has deformed my expectations and self value. I'm not mad at my parents as they are now. They're getting old and life is too short. But I'm pissed off that i was treated this way because it has formed my instincts. Anyway I intend on practicing for an hour or two a day if I can make the time. I hope that by next month i can skate around the park but idk. 

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@malign

I can see the temptation behind being cremated, & I'm glad they got what made them feel at ease. For me personally, I would opt to be buried despite how afraid I am of it. I am afraid of death - the whole process of it. The design so to speak. Not just for myself but for the people I feel a responsibility (&love) for.

 

Thought of burying my parents kills me. To know that I'll have to put them in the earth of an open populated field far away from us all has me feeling shaken up. Like nothing has meaning anymore. 

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@lostboy1

As the adage goes - funerals are for the living. I joke with my sister that she has my permission to dump me in the reservoir but of course that would be highly impractical. I would still opt for a burial despite my fears - it's a no win situation all around. I believe in an afterlife too, and see death as a process by which we move on into a final form of living. I didn't always know or believe this.

 

As child I felt disturbed by a scene in Terminator 2, when the T-800 played by Arnold Schwarzenegger has Sarah Conor destroy him by lowering him into that molten liquid. It showed his vision blacking out, first leaving a single horizontal beam of light on the screen, which then collapsed into a single dot - and then nothing. Nothingness.

 

I went through a phase where this would haunt me at night. I'd lie there with my eyes closed, wondering if this is what death felt like. But I was still aware, I need to stop being aware, I thought. And I couldn't. Eventually my mum noticed how worried i got at bedtimes so I had to know. I asked her what nothingness is like and how it's possible to experience it forever. She was annoyed at my question, told me to stop being silly and that there was an afterlife. I'd never heard of it before, but it really made me feel relieved. 

 

I do still believe in it, but that's really besides the point. Even if my soul/spirit/psyche moves on, my body will rot in a hole deep in the earth. This is so strange to come to terms with. I'm almost angry at god for making it that way. It's a joke. What then is the point of my physical form? It's just some vessel to tip me over to the next phase of living? This is bullshit. 

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3 hours ago, YOTH said:

I always liked the idea of being buried under a tree. I thought it solve deforestation if graveyards were gradually turned into forests of life that couldn't be cut down. 

I like this thought. I have decided that I want a green burial.

2 hours ago, Small said:

Oh my gosh! I have the skating motion down. It's still early days because I'm shaky, but I'm able to push out one foot while riding the other and alternate with every kick. This isn't fluid yet, i will need a lot of practice. 50 points to Slytherin!

Yeah!!! :) That is awesome! I knew you could do it. I need to search for some more happy emoticons.

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@IrmaJean

Thanks Beth. It might sound like a meaningless endeavour to some people but learning how to roller-skate means a great deal to me. It satisfies a childhood goal as well as providing me with a new outlet. I was worried on Monday when I was unable to move in the skates after barely being able to stand upright. I was faced with the realisation that I wouldn't be able to learn & this had me feeling like a failure, again.

 

I tried again on Wednesday when i officially got the present & made it to the point where i could walk & roll around. Today after putting on the skates i took a deep breath and prepared myself for a glorious fall after deciding to try the correct (kicking to the side) technique. I was so relieved when i preformed it. 

 

I still have a long way to go before I'm fluent and well rounded enough to do my victory lap around the park. But after this development I'm confident that with enough practice i can do it. If you get the feeling that this is about more than just skating, you're right. It's about a lot of things. I'm not going to celebrate this too early because failure is still possible.  I'm still green at the technique & have no practical experience with cornering or braking. (I've realised that the theoretical tips are insensitive to the perceptive requirements of a legitimate newbie) All I can do is practice and hope for the best.

 

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Just a joke that video btw, I tried ice skating in Edinburgh recently and almost broke my back. Good luck with the whole thing, good exercise as well, I was knackered after only half an hour. I'm taking the boy to play football a lot recently, it's good for him and gets me moving more albeit only sightly. 

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I've been skating this past week with a couple of days off. I haven't progressed to braking and cornering yet so to focus completely on the motion. Indoors, I think i'm pretty much there with that. I'm engaging a lot of my muscles for balance and momentum & feel stable & in control. I'm struggling on rough terrain though, cracks and uneven slabs etc outside tend to knock me around a little. I'm wondering if I'm approaching it wrong? Idk.

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Romero always manages to pull it out the bag. I don't rate him that highly. I didn't see him against Whittaker but supposedly he was schooled which doesn't have me too confident in him for the rematch. Hunt still has the KO power but he was being fed to a beast IMO. So close to KOing the feller. Who you picking for Stipe vs Cormier? 

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Whittaker picked Yoel apart, took him deep into the late rounds and he gassed out. It was a technical masterpiece and even though he was the best guy to come from The Smashes he was on another level in that fight, shame about the injury. I've been purposely avoiding all MMA on YT and just watching it as it comes out, so I didn't even know Cormier Stipe had gone beyond gossip. I don't know, I'd be tempted to go Stipe off the back of his recent form, but DC has a weird way of unraveling guys like nobody in the UFC. Apart from Jon, he's hands down the most dangerous fighter in LH. At HW I don't know, it'll be getting watched tho, sounds like a real fight to get ya teeth into. 

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