bsmb77 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 I am 38 and hate that my mom won't respect the fact that I don't like to be touched by her. Sometimes it's all I can do not to scream at her. We have had off and on discussions for years about giving me personal physical space, and I mean really, is it such a big deal??? She acts like it is the worst thing in the world, yet SHE KNOWS why I feel uncomfortable. It's her doing, NOT mine. She literally has no shame in touching my bra if it's showing, and that's waaaaay over my personal space line, because it's basically the top of my breast, touches my leg, just everything. I feel almost violated, and I'm not one who cares if other people get close to me, it's only her, and like I said, she knows why, even if she's in denial. How can I make her understand she is invading my personal space?! Because I have mentioned it many times, even in therapy WITH HER THERE and she still continues to do it. I really have to restrain myself sometimes to to lash out when she does it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 Does she respect your boundaries? If not would a period of separation w no contact possibly serve as a reset? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bsmb77 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 She respects my boundaries in that she won't call for days but when we see each other face to face she will not respect my personal space. I need a couple feet of space from her, and it never happens. And I'm honestly afraid one day I'm going to flip out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bsmb77 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 I have to take a Xanax before I see her. If that tells you how uncomfortable she makes me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 31, 2015 Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 Welcome, bsmb. Your mom isn't respecting your boundaries regarding this, it seems. Have you considered telling her that you won't visit her if she continues to behave this way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bsmb77 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 I never go to her place...3-4x a year, tops, but sometimes she comes here because she owns the place I live in, and sometimes I see her in public to get mail from her, etc. I can tell her again and again I don't want to be touched, it doesn't help. If anything, I get taunted by her about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GregWeb Posted September 16, 2016 Report Share Posted September 16, 2016 Did you try more emotional approach? Next time get close to your mom and ask her - do you love me? (I guess she does being your mother) and tell her - if you want to see me again then don't touch me anymore. And if she touches you you go away and turn your phone off. Let her think she lost you.... Hope this will help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.