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Snowman1990
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A word about ptsd...there is something called complex ptsd...that can occur with constant levels of stress over an extended period of time. A dysfunctional environment while growing up, for instance, could play a role, especially if one is walking on eggshells all of the time. I'm not at 100% so not much to add, but I wanted to express this and welcome you to the community, Ntoulinho.

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A word about ptsd...there is something called complex ptsd...that can occur with constant levels of stress over an extended period of time. A dysfunctional environment while growing up, for instance, could play a role, especially if one is walking on eggshells all of the time. I'm not at 100% so not much to add, but I wanted to express this and welcome you to the community, Ntoulinho.

klingsor, you're so complex, man. :D

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Ntoulinho, you have been through a great deal. You are coping with serious issues regarding your physical health and this has to be so difficult. :( I do think there is a mind/body connection so it's very possible this also affects your mental well-being. Do you have someone there to share with and confide in? Maybe it helps to do little things for yourself, socialize with friends? I hope your health improves.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 5 weeks later...

I've read your bit and I've seen you've been through a lot of horrible things, and I can't imagine what it must be like to live with a brain tumour permanently (I assume?). You've clearly gone from a place of privilege (being smarter than your classmates, excelling in classes etc.) to a place where you possibly can't perform as well because of your health (the test seems indicative of this anyway, but you said you are still capable of performing as well intellectually before your brain tumour?). Are you still in University studying something you're not interested in?

Anyway, how are you doing in terms of quality of life? By that I mean the actively seeking out things that you enjoy. You have mentioned things like reading so I consider those rather mundane; I mean things more like visiting foreign countries, going to gigs, planning something ahead of time that you can look forward to and think about at moments you're not doing well.

You talked a lot about pills too, and I'd advise you to not put too much faith into antidepressants and such. The only thing they will do is to decrease the chance of relapses, prolong the time between depressions when you do relapse, and they tend to make your depressions (and often other emotions) less intense. They aren't miracle drugs; I'd strongly suggest to keep going with the therapies. CBT is definitely a good place to start as it treats you more intensely than ordinary counselling will; there are specialist therapies for PTSD as well (EMDR, for example).

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Ah, I'm sorry, I must've misread your initial post!

I am not entirely sure what you're studying right now, but why is there nothing better you can choose? Also, is it a reasonable hope to actually be able to study Medicine? I've had to adjust my hopes in what I wanted to do versus what I was able to do several times over the years, because not everyone can do everything...

And I can't help but notice--you did not answer my question about the fun things in your life...

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