proudpoppa85

Hello everyone, my name is Wesley. I am 31 and have four wonderful children and an incredible woman in my life but I can't seem to get my mind right. No matter how happy I get or what I do it always seems to be a reoccurring issue that the smallest things upset me. Even as I write this message, I am gritting my teeth because I feel like I cant even put into words the way I feel or what happens to me. It's like something takes over my mind and emotions when something trivial and meaningless that I should know better than to believe is said or done. I feel like I cant take a joke and that I wont let myself trust anyone. Little things give me anxiety and instead of talking about them, I get quiet and distant. I know its affecting my relationships but i can't seem to stop it from happening and when I'm doing this, it makes me hate myself and get self conscious. I guess what i am trying to say is that I feel like I am a prisoner to this overemotional drama filled powder keg of a man and I wish it would let me go. I have tried talking to people i think are close to me and it always seems to push them away cause they just don't seem, to me anyway, to understand just how intense this problem is for me. Can someone please help me? I wanna trust, i wanna love, be free, be fun again, i just wanna stop hating me.