I'm honestly incredibly confused right now. My bodily urges to kill myself, these motions my body makes that I cannot stop seem to be growing stronger and I refuse to take obvious action. I'd rather go peacefully than by my mind hurling me into a semi on the highway.
I feel strange. I am not expressing anything, but even as I write with a straight face, my mind is screaming in pain. Not the same audible screams I already hear, but the Damned ones I cannot ignore. I force my mind to do other things, but it betrays me. I feel I have 4 minds, each splitting away, but being the same person.
It's hard to express the strange emotions I feel that have no name. I guess they're strange variants of Guilt.
Here is a song that expresses it well (for me), just like a sunny day does. Dejection and cracks in my eyes. link:
Another that describes my confusion:
And my guilt, my favorite song:
Please reply, if you can. I'm going to regret this, like everything else I say here. it'll just be used against me, seeking attention.