Is this ego??

[Rose]

Hi,,

Im not that sure if this is an ego problem but there are things which depress me in myself which I can't control not to feel them they just come and exhaust me because i keep over thinking like examples: 1) when someone is like me or similar to me or shares similar hobbies to me i get jealous so fast and keep thinking 'what if they're better than me' and then start feeling inferior to them and wanting to be better than them and wanting them to acknowledge me.. 2) when i talk to someone im always kind of distance and can't bring myself to be emotional because i used to think its stupid so instead i end up being a bully and mean.. 3) i always feel disconnected from everything and everyone and empty.. 4) i always want to be the best.. Can someone here help me at least telling whats this mental state im in if its not ego and how to solve it, and thanks

[renewablecloud]

I don't know very much about what the mental state it called. But I'm familiar with the feeling. Perfectionism. Low self esteem. It's a defense to distance yourself, but it won't help you in the long term.

we all have something that makes us special and different - it doesn't have to fall to better or worse. It feels vulnerable to honesty emote with another person. That takes practice along with an acceptance of both yourself and the other person. We can't control how other people will react to us - that's something important that I'm still learning.

I recently watched Brene Brown's TED talk - might be worth googling.

Wishing you well.

[Resolute]

Hi,,

Im not that sure if this is an ego problem but there are things which depress me in myself which I can't control not to feel them they just come and exhaust me because i keep over thinking like examples: 1) when someone is like me or similar to me or shares similar hobbies to me i get jealous so fast and keep thinking 'what if they're better than me' and then start feeling inferior to them and wanting to be better than them and wanting them to acknowledge me.. 2) when i talk to someone im always kind of distance and can't bring myself to be emotional because i used to think its stupid so instead i end up being a bully and mean.. 3) i always feel disconnected from everything and everyone and empty.. 4) i always want to be the best.. Can someone here help me at least telling whats this mental state im in if its not ego and how to solve it, and thanks

i don't see how examples # 1 & 4 are related to # 2 & 3.

# 1 & 4 sort of indicate competitiveness,which is perfectly healthy;but without feeling inferior etc..

[TheSpotlessPane]

It's crazy how much I identify with everything you said, Lawliet. When someone is good at the same things as me, it can turn my world upside down. Almost like their very existence constitutes an attack on my value as a person. I am also often emotionally disconnected from others like you. Maybe part of it is the paranoia. When you see others as wanting nothing more than to threaten your dignity, it can be hard to have any warm feelings for them.

On how to fix this, I unfortunately don't have much wisdom to offer - still working on that one, myself. Hopefully, it helps to know you're not alone, though.

[Rose]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies it really helped me so much i really appreciate your replies