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depression and feelings.....



I'm writing this just to vent and get things off my chest. My depression lately has all but taken over my life. I don't cook anymore, I don't do much housework. All I seem to do is cry, and think about how worthless and stupid I am. I've been so focused on my daughters care and well being I've let me fall by the wayside....

But that's normal, right? We as mothers always put our children first. Plus I guess I feel like my stupid problems pale in comparrasion to hers. I guess its time to finally list everything that's wrong with me.

Manic depression, anxiety disorder, OCD. And I suffer from chronic, constant pain. I have spinal stenosis. Apparently surgery is my only option at this point.

Death seems like such an easy, yet cowardly, way out. A way to just end it all and be at peace. I have nobody in my life as a support. I'm alone. Its me and my kids, and right now, due 2 raivens current state of mind, I don't even have my other 2. Hell, I don't even know if its safe for them to come home!

So much stress all around me. AHHHHHHHHH. I just want it to go away. But, ill drudge on with a brave front for raiven. Cuz if moms sad and upset, where does that leave her?


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