I really hope I can find some useful help to cope with my life shattering situation. I was to marry the absolute answer to my future happiness, 10-17-09. Now that's not going to happen. I went to residential treatment to address my substance abuse issue that I was not able to beat by myself, in May of this year. When I came home my fiancé was super verbally abusive and consistently putting yelling at me and/or saying mean things to me. I understand he is mad that I had been hiding an addiction from him for at least 6 months of our amazing 21/2 year relationship, but I only made this drastic move to be the best wife and mother possible. I really took my recovery seriously and was determined to not be one of the statistics. Both I and my fiancé are in the mental health field so I was astonished by his reaction.
I was unemployed when I returned from treatment and was on our computer consistently with employment finding. One day I came across something by accident that was earth shattering, Porn. He lied about this and said that he just looked at if after a friend sent him an email. Upon further investigation, my fiancé had been viewing this daily, and this meant morning, noon, and night. Even coming home in the middle of the afternoon from work the day after I returned from treatment to view this crap. This was not just porn, but extremely horrible short movie/film clips that were just mortifying. He had been doing this since before our relationship even began. I had a melt-down due to his severe resentment toward me with my addiction and saying that I was never to be trusted.
We started going to a therapist that specialized in both substance and sexual addictions. One night when going to bed I asked him why he was still getting things sent to his email etc. He got so angry that he dragged me out of our bed screaming pulled me by my hair and neck and threw me in the computer chair denying everything. He had gotten physical in the past, but never like this. This story is long and complicated. I was very close to his mother and told her about this. She said to stay at their home for a break while they were on vacation.
One day when I had just began my new job he called when I was going into an important meeting. He was not able to go to work and was crying and needed to talk. I told him that I could not miss this meeting and it was a very good new job. Two hours later when I got out of the meeting, I listened to my messages. He had tried to call me several times while I was in the meeting. The voice mail said , you are right, I know I should not of done those things, I love you so much, and I will do whatever it takes to get help, I’m so sorry.
By the time I could get home to talk to him, he had all of things packed in my new luggage that we were to use for our already booked trip to Hawaii. He had everything that I owned and basically kicked me out. So I am blown away, I do not understand what happened???? He said it's over...