Rouler

I dissociate all the time in different ways, but I cannot see why to self-harm was so fun/funny/hilarious. Actually, I didn't feel particulary dissociated when that happened. I was like....ecstatic. I would have laugh doing it, it was like a happy idea. Now it is a happy idea again...but I don't feel agitated. I am quiet. It is hilarious. Oh...I know...yes...I am soooo happy...this is Nev! I thought It was something wrong, but not! I was Nev once.

Why do you cut so?

Mi mind got hilarious. And then, cutting and seeing my blood become fun and funny. It became hilarious too. And my mind said to do so, because It was fun. Now it is not funny anymore. My mind is not hilarious anymore. I feel confused. Have this ever happened to anyone here?

I never feel comfortable enough with people, so I do. Though, It seems that there is "The right therapist" over there, even if it is hard to find him. If you search on the internet, you would see a lot of different opinions about therapy; but most of people that have found"the good one" had had a lot of T before. Anyway, I have learnt from past experiences, that if the situation is too bad and urgent help is requiered, sometimes one has to forget about these issues and just do it. Well, also It is normally easier to write instead of speaking...it may be useful if you need to say something but you can't. These are just ideas...uhm...problems normally are not solved spontaneously. It is necessary to actively do something...

Hi, I am also new here. Have you ever sought. for mental support? (Like a therapist?) Therapists are really helpful when you need to disclose, and they may help you to self-disclose to others (Like to that girl) Rouler.

Sometimes hard situations disconnect yout emotions so much that you even cannot feel depress -And you may be...though, It may also be some kind of dissociation...Apathy is caused by a lot of different stuff- ... Anyway, It doesn't mean that you are a psychopath...

It looks coherent and perfect, but it may be too good. I mean, I am not consistent with opinions. Today I find it okay, even If I feel that It isn't a good idea. Tomorrow I may -or not- just get crazy about it. Right now I feel that I am completely sane, even If I don't feel pretty well and I know that I am not sane. Tomorrow I may think and feel that I am sane; the day after tomorrow I may believe and feel that I am not sane and I should try to get help... Today I would drive crazy If I had a diagnosis. Tomorrow I may need it. I am afraid of psychiatrist and meds (Ironically, I am going to study medical pharmacy at the university...) My mind can completely change, I am not the same person than before. My memory sucks, so I tend to forget everything and have a new identity four times a year. I don't know. Something dangerous and bad? I don't know what. It is good: It is coherent. It may work. It may work. You have spent a lot of time writing it, Thanks It must be good. It is bad: Because It should be bad *Closed in a shell* -----------> I need to think about this. I need to lock this stuff in a cage, and put it in a corner.

Do you mean that they like rejecting men with small penis? .... People in general suck, and in general they aren't emphatic enough with other's problems.... Normally a woman is more emphatic with women's problem that with men's problems....and men tend to be more emphatic with men's problems than with women's problems..... It is always the same. Though, most of women have another..."dynamics" in their mind that distinguish them from men, they vibrate in a different frequency.

Hi. I am 18 and I am in the same situation, though I don't have any friend near me. I don't like 'normal' and short-term relationships, I like deep ones, when you just love the other person because you want to love someone (Connect with another human...feel humanity...) Of course, the other person should let you love him/her and have similar feelings. But, It is not only about romantic relationships, it can also apply to friendship. Do you like reading? There is a interesting book about love, and it is: The art of loving by Erich Fromm. (Psychologist and philosopher) He analyse how that feeling works in relationships (Parental, friendship, romantic...) ... It helps to understand issues related to love, and may help you to be more confident about it. What women like? A man that smile and is kind, that worry but don't lost control of himself, that is sincere but not offensive, that if he has a problem, he confront it, instead of ignoring it, that shares his emotions, instead of hide it, but without overreacting... Confidence doesn't appear spontaneously, It is need to be worked adopting a positive life attitudes. One need to relax and be stable enough to begin creating this confidence, step by step, with clear objective, pointing at something and working on it (Yeah, this is ambiguous, though, It is need to know what is going to be improved to make it possible) I talk with a girl between lessons--->This is objective right know, and I'll keep working on it until I find it completely spontaneous and comfortable. Me.

The problem is...finding someone that: 1. Someone that will believe me. 2. Someone that It is not lazy and really cares. When I was in the courts and a forensic doctor examined me, she seemed to believe me, and just told me that everything was a reaction to trauma...and....that I should go away from there and live my life... "..." Ok. I know that. Though, she was cold and extremely distant. The judge and the lawyer didn't believe me. Even if that lawyer was there to represent me and I was a minor (So, He should have protected my interests) Doctors just ignored me. Some of them even encouraged my mother freaking ideas. Maybe they didn't know that all of that was a lie, other simply didn't talk to me and automatically assumed that what my mother said was true. I remember a doctor saying that I was antisocial and I needed more punishment-I was just 11 and he didn't talk to me...- I know that there may be people that could believe me...though...It seems very dangerous to try it. I think that If I try it and they don't believe me, I would be in a big trouble, wouldn't I? Rouler

Would you like to self-teach that you deserve to be punished? Would you like to self-teach that you deserve to feel pain? Would you like to have a "coping plan" that actually doesn't work and just causes bad long-term consequences? (All possibilities don't apply to everyone)--->Sorry If this sounds rude, I just got emotional. There doesn't exist any kind of problem that could be solved by self-harm. Self-harm only damages the person psychologically and doesn't solve anything. It is only a short-term coping tactic. You won't feel bad/anxious/angry/depress/whatever while you are doing it (The "urge" would be calmed), but then you will feel again like that, because you won't be solving the real problem. So: real problem unsolved+physical damage+psychological additional damage ???? Is it good? What could be solved with this? It just makes the bad issues worse.. As Malign has also said, If the physical health is not imminently in danger, the worst problem is not the body; the problem is that what has caused to self-harm is still there and It is unsolved, getting much more problematic with each cut. Rouler.

Hi; Cutting may be a way to show self-hatred. Cutting may be a way to say "I deserve to be punished" Cutting may be a way to release anger towards ourselves. Cutting may be a desperate attempt to cope with a problem. It is serious because of what causes it and the consequences that It may have (To become chronic, infections, too deep cuts, to cut something important -like a tendon-....) Rouler.

Hi.. Sorry, I posted this and I completely forgot it.... I wrote that text...It is just that...I don't know. Normally I don't feel my memories as they were my memories, they are like films without a protagonist. I just forget what I say or what I do, so If I read it again, I don't recognise me--->This is why It is there as It wasn't mine. I am just 18 years old. I still live here, and well, my mother liked to play the poor-mother rol ("I am a poor lady that has an ill child, but I do everything I can to cure him/her"...While I wasn't ill and She didn't do anything that She said she did) So...even when I went to a doctor, I didn't have the proper help. I really hate this; It was like "More ill you are, better son/daughter you are". And, of course, she treats me better when I was ill. Well; This is why I cannot be helped right now. I am going out of here in septembre. Though, I don't know If I can find help. Why should someone believe me? My medical report says that I am autistic (I don't know If I have already said it) It is just because as a child I was so dysfunctional that doctors thought I had autism. If I say "No, It is a mistake, I was diagnosed with that because...." they probably won't believe me. It is too much. I am mentally dismembered because of the abuse and isolation (Neglection, sexual, phyisical and verbal...)

I have always wondered the same, but I do not understand why is serious if there is not a fatal intention or fatal damage.

"Many times I have believed that I had no rights, obviously not consciously. Simply, I had normalized the situation so much that I perceived it as deserved and normal. I didn't feel like a person, I didn't feel human, I didn't feel that I deserved anything kind or lovely; I thought that I was pure scum, part of the waste of the world, without more right than to breath; I remember to think that it was fair to not have any kind of affection, to not have company, to have to hide in the closet and cry to nobody -Becausethere was nobody to cry to-; I remember to think that it was true that I was a monster, despicable, evil and repugnant. I only existed to be hit, I only existed to be shouted, to be harassed and to be used as a punching bag. In the end, I didn't feel anything, I feel without life, without a soul inside. Everything was unreal; even my mind was unreal, I wasn't inside my head, I wasn't real, I don't know where I am, I don't know if I am alive -Orif I am death- Feelings choke me, they become a cumulus of pain in my throat, I suffer them, one by one, and I don't identify them clearly. Normaly I have no memory, as I don't have identity, as I didn't be a person. I don't identify with an image or idea, I don't have a self-concept. I am nothing. Nonexistent" Hello; I am from nowhere. No drug problems, no academical problems. Emocional problems, imposibility to socialize, scared and hypevigilant. Uncapable to allow someone to emocionaly connect with me. Isolated. Described as autistic-like. Mistrustful and angry. Too young, I cannot scape from here, just have to wait. No help, I was ignored by those that should help (Social services and similar) Helpless.