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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We had a normal sex life with having sex about two to three times a week. However, that's changed in the past few months. He moved in with me about three months ago, and I've started to notice that he spends less quality time with me, including less sex. We're down to about once a week. And he typically doesn't initiate it unless it's a morning that neither of us has to get up to go anywhere. I've already talked to him about this and he's promised to try more, because he's claiming that he felt that I wasn't giving off the vibe that I wanted to have sex either. Which I can relate to me anxiety and depression, because some days I really just want to hide under a blanket and not be bothered. But in the same respect, he's the one person I need to still be there and try to pull me out of a funk and he doesn't. On top of all this, I've discovered that he's been watching porn almost every day. I have no proof that he's doing it to masturbate, but I'm also not an idiot. That's typically what people watch porn for when they're alone. So now, I'm feeling even worse about myself because I feel that he would rather watch other girls doing sexual things on video and stimulate himself instead of engaging in the acts with me. Basically, I feel worthless and unattractive to him and I don't know what to do or say to him anymore. I'm ready to just give up.

Hey everyone! im new and i kinda want to make a small introduction, my name is Agustina, but everyone calls me Hayley (long story), im 20 years old, and im from Argentina (bahia blanca, buenos aires) I have anxiety and im currently medicated with natural drops. Going good with that luckly. Aaaaand as much as its been a shitty week with family shit going on, not relatable to what happened today; Im in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years, and as we allways had our personal friends and friends in common we allways been really confortable and minimal jelous going on (allways mine) but anyways, i been feeling unconfortable this past year because he started to be friends with 2 girls that live near him and know each other for a long time, they just got closer, that made me a little jelous only because im the insecure one, like, i have the irrational fear of him relazing that any of them are better for him and not me because we are actually pretty different (me being goth and him.. not) and other things, but, thats just in my head you know, it happens. But still knowing that we trust each other and we deeply love each other no matter what and that out differences make out relationship better and intresting all the time, i was still feeling unconfortable. I feelt so hypocrit because most of my friends are males, like, i have 3 close girl friends and 5 best male friend (+ not so close friends also males) i get along better with males, i dont know why. The thing is he made a new female friend this year that makes me really unconfortable, i know her before him, and she was best friends with a girl that tried to ruin our relationship, she was bothering ous so much we were stressed all the time, and yeah, shit drama.. When i saw that he was friends with this girl (lets call her X) i got soooooo angry we had a little short figth, i was like "okey, im not going to hate you, but im still going to be unconfortable with her" and he was okey with that i guess, like, he cant change my mind. I recently find out that hating X sooo much that i was so in rage when he named her, like a tons of anxiety filled me up.. that was insane and it was getting irrational.. i though about it a lot and i came to realize i was so unconfortable with his female friends because i feel that its unfair. Unfair that he is close friend with most of my male friends, and some female friends, but i know nothing about his friends of him. Today i got really upset because we were talking about his birthday and i asked who is comming (its in december 25, a jesus alive) and when he named X i internlly exploded. And i told him something like okey im not going have fun with your frienddd (talking about her) and he laughed, because he finds funny that im insecure about it, he allways reminds me that he loves me and he would never cheat me and everything, but thats not the case, im still unconfortable arround them! I spent most of the day with anxiety and i actually locked myself in the bathroom telling him that i was feeling bad that i had so much anxiety but i didnt told him why. Theres when i realize about the reason of my anger and shit. So when i came home i fb menssage him about all of this, in a shorter way, and i told him that as i want to stop feeling that way i wanted to meed his female friends, i want him to introduce them propperly and so i would feel better, that i dont want to feel so bad all the time and i want to go to his birthday without locking myself in the bathroom to cry and heavy breathe.. After being gentle with that mensage, telling him that i dont want ous to figth about that shit again his answer was: "If you want an answer now, im not going to tell them to start getting together and meet you and talk to you, if you wanna know them better, just talk to them" And i was like SHIT and told him something like, i cant, that is difficult for me, and that i needed him to be more sensitive about the situation and that it doesnt have to be that serious, i just wanted to meet them to star feeling more confortable arround them. I feel like SHIT, LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT i wish i havent told him anything and just work my way to getting closer to them slowly and maybe talk about it in person with him but IT MAKES ME SO NERVOUS i was so scared of starting to cry and ending up all in a big figth that i dont need rigth now, AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I DONT WANT TO BE MAD AT HIM, I DONT WANT HIM SO INSENSITIVE ABOUT IT, AND I DONT WANNA FIGTH NEAR THE HOLYDAYS AND I DONT WANNA FEEL SUICIDE AGAIN. Any advice? Ps: sorry for my english.

Hi there, This is my first post on this site so I'm a little wary and nervous. I have come here for help since I'm in a country where English is not the local language and professionals who speak English aren't readily available. I would appreciate advice from those who have been in my situation, from counselors, therapists, or anyone with much knowledge and understanding of this issue. I'm an Asian 28 year old female working as a teacher and an artist in Asia. I come from a large family of 9 children with parents of a secular Christian adherence. I grew up in an unconventional lifestyle which gave me many unique opportunities to travel and learn much outside of traditional educational institutions. I chose to go my own way in life at the age of 17, departing from almost all friends, family members, and what was familiar to me. I describe myself as an atheist or a very hard-nosed agnostic. I'm in my second long-term, serious relationship with a man whom I love very much. I'm explaining my background as I hope it may help in a clearer "diagnosis" or getting a shot at some helpful advice. My main problem: I am having trouble with many issues dealing with my boyfriend sleeping with prostitutes before he met me. ( I have only found out about this 6 months ago although we've been together for 2.5 years. He's from North America and is also of no religious adherence even though he also grew up in a Christian family. We met online, started out in a long-distance relationship for a year, and then moved in together.) When I found out he had visited prostitutes multiple times in his past, it was in the middle of a conversation with another friend and was not in a private/intimate conversation. I felt very hurt because it had taken him 2 years to tell me. I felt betrayed because he only brought it up when someone else asked him. I was in shock because I thought he had told me all about his sexual history after asking him many times about it. Another problem: When I asked him why he had never told me before, he said I should have asked the specific question, "Have you ever slept with prostitutes?" I know this means he didn't want to be open about it, yet he's told me he feels fine about it and not guilty or shamed at all. If he feels totally fine with this part of his sexual history, why has he taken 2 years to haphazardly tell me? (My gut tells me he's uncomfortable about it regardless of what he says.) It most definitely would have changed how I thought of him at the beginning of our relationship. But, I feel even more betrayed that he never brought it up in any of our intimate times together. If it never came up in friendly conversation, would he ever have told me? (My gut tells me no, again! Instead, I would have found out even later, putting more of the time I committed to our relationship into question.) It's been about 6 months and I'm still dealing with all of these conflicting and upsetting thoughts and emotions. I've tried to talk about it with him but haven't gotten very far. He is either dumfounded by the amount of questions I have or he's knowingly trying to shut down the topic. I've been blamed, seemingly, for being too emotional, thinking too much, holding on to a grudge, and bringing up the past too much. I still have so many questions about how he views women, what he thinks and feels about our sex life compared to his bought sex, how providing for a woman in a loving relationship is different than paying for a woman for sex, why it took so long for him to tell me, etc etc etc etc... And he does not want to, or know how to, talk with me about it. I cannot get over it because we haven't been dealing with it. I am still in pain and it's at the point where I can no longer ignore how I feel. I'm afraid to admit to him and myself, that this might be a breaking point because we cannot seem to talk about this issue, or other issues regarding our sex life. I need some help, until I find a counselor or therapist. I need to hear a different perspective or some wisdom to shed light and a bit of comfort during this difficult time. He is a considerate and caring person from a loving background. However, I am his first girlfriend and I am the only non-prostitute sexual partner he's had in more than a few years. He's also not understood my issue with him watching porn. (This may or may not be related, and I'm willing to explain further on this subject if asked.) Thankfully yours, Thoughtful Female