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Ralph

How do you find help for ADHD if you haven't been diagnosed?

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I keep getting in trouble in my real life relationships for things like forgetting dates/times, not paying attention to details, failing to finish tasks, and generally being fabulously interesting but not at all engaged in the task at hand.

I think I could at least benefit from some coaching/skills training whether or not I really have ADHD, and for crying out loud I just want to know if i have it or not so that I can respond to friends when they pull me aside for the "gee what's wrong with you" conversation. Is there a way that I could just get tested and find out? How do I find a good professional who has compassion for what this is like to go through as an adult?

I am afraid my current pdoc is not willing to consider ADHD because I have had major depression, but I don't see how that follows and she is not willing to explain things to me. I could really benefit from a pdoc with a more consultative approach, so if anyone has tips on what I should do I'd really appreciate it.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Ralph,

I cannot know your pdocs thinking but its possible to have both major depression and adhd. I'm sure he has a reason for dismissing adhd, but, what is the reason? You can't talk to him, is that what you are saying? And he doesn't answer questions? Have you thought about a new pdoc just so you can have someone who will explain things to you?

Allan

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Hi Allan,

Thanks for replying. I gather from reading your other posts that you have expertise in adult ADHD so I value your input. My pdoc is a she, but other than that yes she refuses to answer questions. When I tried to ask about ADHD symptoms she said, "Stop. Just stop." and that was the end of the appointment. When we meet for medication management she asks about sleep and eating habits, and if they are not normal then she changes the mood stabilizer I am on. If I mention emotional symptoms she says to take it to my talk therapist. What she does explain is what pills to take, when to take them, and the side effects to watch out for.

Yes, I would love to find a new pdoc who likes to answer patient questions, but I am afraid to switch too much. So really my question is how to find a pdoc with whom I am compatible. Is it a matter of trial and error or is there a way to figure out a pdoc's style before starting with a new one?

Alternatively are there any other options where I could get assessed and rule it out before switching? I don't necessarily think my current pdoc is wrong, I just want more of an understanding of what my problem is and reasonable approaches to fix it.

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I will not lie to you. I think the whole thing is a waste of time. However it is perplexing. First of all, don't let anyone tell you you are crazy, because there is no such thing as being crazy. Before seeking this "magical" medicine, I implore you to consider the possibilities of your actions. Taking these medications can have a lot of negative side effects you know. Hyperactivity is okay, that is normal, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I was diagnosed with it. I don't have it. And it is not an illness. You see the difference. There might be a technical term for the way my body functions, but I choose not to label myself with this. Anything about your true self can be looked at as a curse or a gift, your choice. It is only a problem if you make it into one. Now, let's get to the focus part: What do you need to focus on?

Edited by Born to Perish

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Ralph,

It's outrageous, in my opinion, that you have a pdoc who does not want to answer your questions. There are pdocs who specialize in ADHD with children and adults. I think you will find one of them more helpful. Usually, people find the pdocs by reputation...people they know, or by using the Internet. You could do a search for adhd pdocs and locate one in your area. There are all types of docs who, unfortunately, do not answer questions, do not take time and are not very nice people. When I come across one of those, I find another doc.

Does this help??

Allan

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@Born to Perish - What I need to focus on is basic every day stuff like paying credit card bills, household chores, tasks at work, and following a plan instead of procrastinating everything past the deadline and having to apologize all the time. I'm currently working with a coach and it is helping but he keeps saying that meds would probably come in handy at this point. Something about executive function in ADHD adults. You can have the best intentions to get something done, but get distracted constantly and end up not doing it. That's a problem impacting me heavily right now.

I hope I didn't come across as expecting meds would be any sort of "magic" solution. I'm trying to address it non-medically and there's a certain point where the person I'm working with (therapist or coach) says that meds should be considered.

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Not being able to focus is not a medical problem. You either are not interested in the tasks at hand, or something is Ailing you (hurting you) thus causing you to lose focus. If you are not interested in what you do, I propose that you seek out ways to make it more interesting, or get a motive. If you simply cannot make it any more interesting than it is, then think of the benefits that doing it will bring, and let that be your determination. Now I implore you to greatly consider if you are going through any emotional pain or trauma that could deter (stop) you from the tasks you must complete. Think about what is currently going on in your life. Did you lose someone? Are you not able to get enough rest? Are you in need of some fun in your life? Think about these things please and come back and tell me what you have discovered so that I can help more. Remember I seriously implore you to consider all other options before turning to medication. You are only changing your body in an unnatural way and you will have to pay great amounts of money to pay for the medicine, which will add to your bills. Trust me, I have been there. I am not trying to persuade you to do as I think you need to do, I am only trying to help you think before making this big decision. I know there is another way. The best medicine is LOVE and Happiness. Please come back and tell me what you've found out.

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Guest ASchwartz

ADHD is not a result of not being able to focus because you are not interested or something else is bothering you. ADHD is real and is documented through fMRI studies of the human brain. Medication does help improve executive functions and, in addition, learning techniques to improve concentration, like taking notes, making lists, etc.

Allan

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@Allan thanks for the input. Does it cost much to have an fMRI done? Maybe I could just do that and see if my noggin looks normal or what. Just a thought. Still looking for pdocs. The ones I have called so far are either not accepting new patients or not accepting my insurance. Going out of network may be required but I have student loans hanging over me, so I guess that means living extremely modestly for a while.

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Allan. No. Do not tell him this. Give him a chance to decide for himself. If you are going to take it at least look at the side effects online. Trust me, the medicine I took for ADHD called Conserta gave me headaches every day, made me extremely unhappy and put me at the risk of getting cancer. Please. If you aren't going to listen, I can't stop you. It is your right, but if you don't think about anything I said at all, you may not be happy with your choice. All I ask of you is to think. I care about helping all of the innocent people out there in need and this is my way of doing it. But I can only help if you want me to. It is your decision. If you need anything else, I will check up on you.

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@ Born to Perish,

I am not assuming it's medical, in fact I am trying everything else first. I am convinced there is a real problem, though because I've had periods of relief. Unfortunately it requires about a week of effort to get a day of "normal" through self-care alone. Right now I am compensating to some extent, but I'm spending so much of my time compensating that I don't have time for things like fun, love, or beauty. I'm surviving but the effort required to compensate has been increasing for a few years now.

Yes I have bad things going on my life, however I don't see this as unusual.

Secondly inattention has gotten me into trouble since age six, which is before anything traumatic or even slightly scary ever happened to me.

To answer your questions, yes I recently lost my grandfather and to be honest my social life is all but nonexistent. However I largely attribute the latter to the fact I cannot control my schedule to the point where I have time to build or maintain friendships. That's why I want to get better.

Edited by Ralph
grammar

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Guest ASchwartz

Oh, you don't get an fMRI to diagnose ADHD, you see a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist who does that. Only do it if you think that maybe you have it. I won't tell you to just go and see someone professional. And, yes, you have to decide for yourself. I agree fully.

Allan

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I am not saying that the healing will be easy, but I would never want someone going through what I went through. Before I continue, please take my advice: DON'T EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU ARE CRAZY. It is NEVER true. I can elaborate if you'd like me to, but for now I will continue to offer aid. Okay, I think you need to seek help from relatives to help you manage your schedule. Do you have any relatives left? If not, you must seek love from another source. Don't get paranoid. Things will get better. What do you think would have happened if they jacked Einstein up on medication just because he quit school? Doing this "by yourself" will NOT help. You need others to help you in your times of crisis. If you cannot seek it any where else, you can get it from us here in the community. I am here for you and I only want what is best for you. In the end it is your decision, but medication for "emmotional" problems only makes it seem like things are better. IT DOES NOTHING TO GET RID OF THE NEGATIVE EMMOTIONS. It plays tricks with your body and manipulates the chemical inside of you, thus causing you to be more likely to change behavior. As soon as you are off of it, you will still feel the same pain or have the same problem you had if you didn't fix it already. Seek to fix the "REAL" problem. Your body is NOT incapable of focus. If you feel that you must take this poison, then take it only until the "REAL" problem is solved. Eliminate what is hindering you from focusing. You obviously are handling too much work at the same time. You are in a hole, or rut, as it were and you need people who love you to help you with the work. Keep faith alive. Getting on medication is no better than becoming an alcoholic. Doctor may lie to you to make a sale or because they themselves only look at what is in books instead of having experiences themselves. Think about that. They READ about this stuff. I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT. I know what I am talking about. If you feel that medication is the last resort, then go for it, but make sure it is THE LAST. Now may I ask: Do you have any relatives at all? Do you have a spouse, or children, or anyone else in your family? Any other friends besides us? Good people who care about you and support you can help you out of tight situations, but make sure they listen to you and understand your situation "FULLY" before asking them for help.

Edited by Born to Perish

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I hear you. It's not right to be on meds. It's also not right to undergo surgery to meet an artificial standard of how one should look. It's not right to shoehorn kids into an educational system based on puritanical ideas which have since been proven wrong (namely the efficiency of punishment as an influence upon behavior) and has been proven one of the least efficient ways to transmit knowledge and skills.

This society is unforgiving and if you are a round peg where there are only square holes, you can get yourself square, or starve. That's how I found myself unemployed FWIW, insisting on being a round peg in a world that has moved on from any appreciation of truth or beauty. I'm done tilting at windmills. I'm done being ridiculed for wanting to be myself.

Einstein worked in a patent office before he published. Today, he would be dismissed as a crank for presuming to understand serious science without the proper pedigree (undergraduate at the right school, right last name, and exceptional resume). So, yeah, he probably would have been stuffed full of Ritalin or Risperidol, and left to rot in a menial position. I am not brilliant like he was so what chance do I have?

I do have friends, but they are the ones who said I need ADHD treatment in the first place. Before that I thought Attention deficit meant there was a deficit in the attention parents paid to their children, i.e. a discipline issue.

My family is unsupportive. They either have worse problems than I do, or they also think I should be on ritalin. Or pray more, etc. It's always such an easy solution, just get some exercise get some religion take this magic colloidal antioxidant phytocatecholianistic supplement, blah blah blah. I've tried it all and the novelty of any situation seems to help for a while but when that wears off I fall back to my original set point.

I'm not giving up, or I wouldn't be on this forum in the first place. I could easily get stims on the black market if that were all I was after. I'm just very, very frustrated and the so called professionals don't seem to care until I fit myself neatly into one of their boxes. Getting social support is no sure fix either, as many people are at least as dysfunctional as I am.

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Yes, what you are saying at the top is exactly what people need to understand. Punishment doesn't teach them anything, it merely scares them into conformity. You learn by exploration and choice. Now the rest is very disconcerting. Don't give up hope. You do have a chance, but conformity is not necessary if the law is not involved. Some conform to the ideas of their employers to put food on the table and I don't blame them, but they aren't happy, just saying. It's sad, I know. I just got to the end. You are correct and I feel really bad for you. I understand your frustration, but please don't let the pain destroy you. Loneliness is a truly horrible thing. I know this because I was lonely for a long time. We still haven't gotten to what the source is of your focus problem. Like I said though, we are here in the community for you. I came here when I was lonely and hurt and had problems focusing, but none of that had anything to do with my "supposed" ADHD. I focus fine now. Better that ever and I'm on no medication. If you can't focus, we need to find out what is "splitting" your focus. Are you uninterested in your work? Do you not have enough money to pay the bills? Is the lost of your Grandfather bothering you alot? Possibly, the neglect you have been objected, courtesy of your parents, has had a "seemingly" permanent effect on you. (If so, it is not permanent and can be undone) Another important question if you will: Has anyone you've ever come in contact with besides me ever TRULY listened to what you had to say about these problems and made you TRULY feel loved and accepted?

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Some conform to the ideas of their employers to put food on the table and I don't blame them, but they aren't happy, just saying.

I have been unhappily employed and now find myself unattached to an employer. After experience with both, I am fairly certain I prefer the former. Money, of course, does not buy happiness, but it is also the case that poverty virtually assures misery.

We still haven't gotten to what the source is of your focus problem.

True, but I want to be careful not to assume that there is a singular source. I am familiar with the problem solving model of identifying the cause of the problem and removing it. However, if my inattention were caused by some past trauma, then the PTSD treatment I underwent should have helped it. If anything it has gotten worse over time regardless of emotional stress in my life.

Are you uninterested in your work?

Yes, but I've never managed to be interested in anything long enough to manage to get paid for it

Do you not have enough money to pay the bills?

Today's bills I have enough savings to cover, but my job search is taking longer than I planned. I've been trying to make a budget, but that's something that requires planning and sticking to a plan, two things I am much worse at than are my friends.

Is the lost of your Grandfather bothering you alot?

No. It's something I am working through but there are several extenuating circumstances that make this much easier to bear.

Has anyone you've ever come in contact with besides me ever TRULY listened to what you had to say about these problems and made you TRULY feel loved and accepted?

Yes. I've had friends and more recently my life partner who truly love and accept me. They've even helped me out by providing things like reminders and accountability, or assisting me with making plans, lists, and following through. It's thanks to that help I've made it this far, but now I have no such support in my life and I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm starting to fray at the seams.

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What kind of PTSD did you undergoe? Who helped you and what did they do to try to help? As for the work: What's your occupation? Is there anything you can do to make it easier or more fun? As for the job: Consider your skills, what you are naturally good at. If you find your muse, you could initiate a career in that. The budget is a good idea. As for the friends thing: I am glad to hear that you were once "felt" TRULY loved, so that means that you aren't too far into the depression. Listen: That love you once experienced is very real and it's still out there somewhere. That proves that you are capable of finding friendship and companionship so there is definetley hope, and hope is a key factor. Trust that things will get better. I suggest branching out to meet new people. Do you have any vacation days? I know you said it's kind of hard for you to find time for that so I'm trying to come up with a solution. Don't be too hasty though. Consider if you are able to take the vacation days and what will happen if you do. My goal is to help people consider all of the possibilities before making big decisions. Everyone needs a family and friends. That will be the strongest help for any thing, because they can help you out and they also make you happy so you can do things at your best. I used to have terrible problems focusing, but when my pain went away, it was easy. And they "claimed" I had ADHD. Sure I am hyperactive at times, but I use that in a productive manner. That is a gift in itself. Consider all of your talents and think about every factor that could possible contribute to your cause. If someone were to lose everything and they had no help and people kept hurting them, they might have to go to a safe place for a while until they can make the pain go away, but no medication, because as soon as they get off of it, the same pain will be there waiting for them. You've got to find a way to get allies that are in your area to help you, but that doesn't mean you should mooch off of them. Make sure you truly get along, don't just use someone, but you're strong I'm sure you wouldn't do that. Will power can take you a long way. Keep fighting and don't give up. Take on the obstacles you are faced with head on and overcome them. You've definetly got to believe in yourself. Find the love and things will get easier. If you would please answer the questions, so that we can make more progress. Thank you for sharing with me.

Edited by Born to Perish

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What kind of PTSD did you undergo?

I initially went to get help for anger issues, as I felt that my anger was getting out of control. First thing they did was diagnose me as PTSD based on my family history. The treatment was a combination of EMDR and PTSD

Who helped you and what did they do to try to help?

I was referred to a therapist with training in EMDR and family therapy. We talked a lot about handling trauma and finding positive coping methods, and of course the EMDR part, which was done with sound instead of visuals. The point is the bilateral stimulation is supposed to help process painful emotions that get stuck during a traumatic event.

As for the work: What's your occupation?

I do enterprise risk management for a fortune 500 company. I don't want to be too specific for fear of this information being tied to my IRL identity which could very well sink my career as neurosis is not a great thing to admit to in a business oriented line of work.

What I'm naturally good at is spotting patterns in data and using statistical techniques to extract the relationships. Unfortunately I am no better at this than about 10 million Chinese and Indian folks, so this skill is not as marketable as my teachers told me it would be prior to globalization hitting the tech world.

I suggest branching out to meet new people.

Meeting new people is easy. It's finding people with whom I have anything in common that is tough. I have no interest in sports, which pretty much rules me out of any conversation between males my age. Any relationship I have formed has been on the basis of music, but now I'm a little old to go out to shows and meet people like I used to do. Maybe if I joined a band or something, but then I'd have to meet people to start up a band with, and it's tough to make commitments since I have no idea what state I'll be in a month from now.

I did join a gym, maybe I'll meet some people there.

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I am sorry it took a while, but I'm back, now for the 1st answer: Diagnosis is not always accurate (just saying). I just wanted you to remember that, in this case however I think it "was". You've told me things are alright in that area so, I can only believe what you tell me.

2nd: Well the stimulation does help, but you need more. Like I said you need love, and nothing else. Love will restore your happiness and then you'll be able to focus when you are "TRULY" happy. Don't get confused, you may be in a "good mood" but not "TRULY happy". In a general sense. I mean happy pretty much all of the time. So happy that insults bounce off of you and you are on top of everything mentally. That'a the happiness I have achieved. It was a long road, but I got there. It was tough, but I didn't give up and I am MUCH better off. I put these terms in all caps to show they are extremely important. You know emphasis, but I'm sure you knew that. Sorry if it gets annoying, I just don't want the words to be overlooked as if it didn't matter. It's an attention grabber.

3rd: Please don't demean your talent. Who knows you may have a greater one, but this is one of the things you can really do. Now you have to do it well and enjoy doing it. I learned that the hard way. You said you were good at it. Do you like your work? Have you searched for more ways to be efficient?

Everything else: You sound just like I did when I was in a lot of pain. The people you've met don't know how great of a person you are and can be. If you go to my thread: "Recruitment Operation" then you can see the kind of stuff I went through. I warn you, it's not a pretty sight. Under all of that sadness I was a flower in bloom. I am a man as well. Let me know if you go to the thread. If you do, I'll have to explain some things about it, but if you go make sure you read the "NOW:" thing that is under most of those. I went back and looked at it to make sure people know everything is better now. I will try not to inquire you to reveal any information you feel is harmful to you in anyway. Believe me: I am only here to assist. The gym thing is a pretty cool thing. I am sure you'll meet some cool people there, but you have to give them a chance. I know it's hard to talk to people if they have been mean in the past. I dealt with that as well. Trust is very hard, so don't give it all away immediately. You should think before you act, but don't get paranoid like I used to. If you don't take "ANY" chances then you won't make progress in your life. Remember don't do anything big until considering all of the possibilities. When I say this I mean don't do drastic things like dump your spouse or quit your job unless you know in your heart that is truly what will make you happier and make your life easier. I really hope you meet more people in the gym. I will continue to help as long as you come back. Nothing is "wrong" with you or anyone else. You are a person who is struggling that is all. I hope to unite the world in a way that it has never been. You can get through this with the support of other people.

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Thank you for caring enough to write. As far as diagnosis it seems that depression is the only thing that I can get treatment for right now. I've been truly happy before but I was not aware of it at the time. I still had problems then but it was a happy life. That's all ended as things do but everything I do now is to chase the dream of getting that former state of life back. To do that though I need to make money and to make money I need to be able to do something worth getting paid for, and to be able to do that I need to be able to concentrate.

Do I like my work? No. It was the only job I could get and it's only an internship at that. I could be gone any day now as there is really no budget for my position in the department. They are going over budget to keep me on because they need my skills but the pay is less than I made before I even got my bachelor's let alone a master's degree. So my career is currently a disappointment to say the least. As far as changing my job that is a given since no later than year end I will be in a new position or unemployed. However work that I would like is not available to me because there are better people already in those positions. I have been applying but I have been getting turned down as well.

Of course I have searched for ways to be more efficient. I have a number of compensation strategies that I use to manage my concentration problems more efficiently. However I still get off track and no amount of willpower seems to help when I don't notice I am getting off track until I've already lost 90 minutes, as has just happened while I was writing this paragraph.

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I suppose you know that money doesn't buy happiness. I know right now you need money to prosper, but that prosperity is an illusion. There are many people out there who may not have much, but they have love and that gives them the "POWER" to do the rest with EASE. Are you currently on any medication? That could be making your situation worse. I've been on depression medication. It doesn't work, because there is really no such thing. People can't make a magic pill to make you happy again. If life were that easy, there'd be no killers and no one would be unhappy. That's clearly not the case, so doesn't that tell you that something is wrong? I'm am not telling you out of ignorance. I couldn't focus at all. Tell me when you get side tracked do you have times where you black out? Do you have thoughts during the black outs? What are those thoughts? These are imporatant questions. The most important yet, because I dealt with this same occurrence. I would sit up and try to listen when people talked and my brain would not make the adjustment AT ALL. But now I focus better than anyone I know. They say I have ADHD? That's a laugh. If you are PHYSICALLY ill, you need medicine, SOMETIMES. There is no such thing as mental illness. Doctors tell you what they have "read" SECOND HAND INFO. I LIVED THE NIGHTMARE. I have blossomed and if I made it, I know you can. Things are very hard I know and things seem hopeless, but you've got to find love. I know that seems redundant that I am saying that so much, but SERIOUSLY. I would have never been able to focus or be happy again without the knowledge that someone loved and cared about me. They SHOWED it. Find people who will accept you for who you are. That is not just a funny thing I am throwing around because I have heard it, NO I'VE LIVED IT. If people can accept me then I know they'll accept you. Forget about sports if you don't like them. Not every guy is sport crazy. I like sports, but I don't act like they are all that's important in my life. That would be foolish and sad. I am not insulting anyone, but it is sad. They just need to migrate out of their little comfort zone and blossom. If they don't they will be miserable forever. I am very sorry to hear you don't like your work. THings are very tough in your life I can see. My mother is in the same struggle. Difference is she won't listen to me. Her foolishness will keep her unhappy. I was VERY foolish a while ago, now it is my job to help people see the light. I have a lot of friends who are girls and they are JUST friends. Expand your horizons. You don't have to only be in one area. Versatility is the key. I really look forward to your answer.

Edited by Born to Perish

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I understand that money does not buy happiness. Yet from experience, poverty essentially guarantees misery.

Yes I am on meds now. I'm on an antidepressant which seems to help a little and a rotating assortment of mood stabilizers aka expensive sleeping pills. Again, I never expected meds to be the main solution to the problem.

When I get sidetracked, I would say that I do have thoughts and I don't black out. It's just that the thoughts have no continuity with previous thoughts. So when I get sidetracked, I move on to something else, which may or may not be productive. For example today I started a load of laundry. I got as far as selecting the temperature for the water and adding soap before I decided to go do something else. The step of putting the dang clothes in the machine simply didn't occur to me until I walked by 20 minutes later and found it odd my hamper was still full although the washing machine was making noise. I just stop doing one thing before I'm done and start doing something else.

So I do things to compensate like make checklists. For crying out loud though, when I need a checklist to f*ing make sure I have my pants on before I leave the house, that is when I start to worry. It's pretty damn embarrassing. I just can't seem to get a pdoc to take me seriously on that front.

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How dare the doctors not take you seriously. They clearly have no respect for you or anyone else, that's why I hate going to see them. I would think about other stuff all of the time as well, but I would kind of day dream for a while then wake up and "try" to resume my task. It seems like it is very severe. You are having insomnia as well. I went through that period when I suddenly stopped taking these sleeping pills. TRUST ME, if you don't stop you'll always be on those pills. You can continue to use them, but after you stop, you have to remember, your body "has forgotten how to sleep". So your body will have to get adjusted to doing that on its own again. That's what happened with me. No one likes doing laundry and obviosuly you are under a lot of stress. It sounds like you are overworking yourself. That's "kind of" what it sounds like, so correct me if I am wrong. They give those antidepressants for almost every "so called" "mental illness". It is really only trauma and the only medicine for that is love. Example: Do you really think someone who was violated or taken advantage of can just get over it in a day by taking a pill? I know you don't, you are way smarter than that, but a lot of people will tell me no and still go out and try that crap. Either that or they'll kill or drink alcohol or something else to get the pain to go away, that in the end will only lead to worse pain. If that person is shown that there are good people on earth and that that will never happen again, they will feel safe and once they feel safe then they can start healing even further. Poverty isn't cool, but it doesn't "completely" guarantee unhappiness. YOU CONTROL THAT. I know it is EXTREMELY hard to do so. I've tried many times and in the end all I was doing was swallowing my pain. That is not the way. Faith will guide you, but you have to be determined and functional as well. I am not saying except poverty. That would be foolish. I am saying "IF", and I don't think it will, ever comes to that, keep your freedom and focus on getting better. Trust me though, having to pay for expensive things you don't really need will only give you more tasks and more fees. If you intend on not seeking the love you need, then maybe medicine is your only alternative, but that'll make you a totally different person and it is unnatural. All it will do is modify chemicals in your body forcing you into a state of emptiness. That's all it is: Emptiness. How were things just before the medication? Probably worse huh? Well those problems will not go away until they are addressed so I really need oyu to rememeber that. If you are going to keep taking it, make sure that you find love before getting off of it. I used to think of funny things when I was doing something serious and I would start laughing and wanting to do something different, like watch tv. I hated when I had to do stuff, but I was only a child then. Things have been going much better. Bills and responsibilities are not cool unless you can pay them with ease, but love will make it MUCH better. Then you will have a clear head. Be careful out there. It used to take me hours to read a book, because I would fall asleep, so I had to do things differently for a while, but now everything is fine. Please consider everything I have told you up to this point. This is the most important question of all so far: When did you notice you focusing problems started?

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This is the most important question of all so far: When did you notice you focusing problems started?

When I was about age 4 my older sisters started to make fun of me for putting my clothes on backwards or inside out, so that's about when it started. As an adult I still make mistakes like that.

I really want to get better but I'm lost. The so-called professionals I talk to just want to put me on drugs which make me worse as if I were being punished. I try to change my lifestyle so that there is "love" in it but I don't know how.

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