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"There has to be some way outta here..."



I wish. Family conflict has started this time even before I arrive. Usually doesn't happen this way. It happens after arrival at least once with my sister being the instigating biatch. I don't wanna walk on eggshells, but I already am, even before I get there. I'm exhausted. I'm stressed. Damn I'm tired. I don't even wanna have to worry with it.

I've already been told on the phone I was "stupid" not once, but twice, and that really pisses me off, but I don't have the energy, nor do I want to waste my energy on it, but damn it pisses me off because I'm sick of it. I'm really tired of her.

I tried to call/text her for a month before Thanksgiving, and I never received anything back from her. That is, until, my dad went into the hospital a few days before Thanksgiving, and she sends me this nasty text, and leaves me this nasty message.

She told me I needed to return "mama's" phone calls that she had been trying to call me, and that I needed to put some of my things to the side because we had aging parents, and she has a disabled child, but she wasn't trying to be ugly. Little did she know or my instigating biatch of mother know I had called and left her messages too!

Well hell's bells what was she trying to do? Did she not hear her own self talking? Why wait and attack me when I'm 800 miles away with our dad sick in the hospital after I have been trying to call/text her for almost a month, and I never heard from her?

That's what I can't stand, and what makes me so :mad:! She's telling me I need to put my things to the side, but yet what the *bleep* has she been doing for the past month?!!! If I ask her that she would explode on me, and I would be unable to talk to her at all. I can't stand that either. I don't want her dumping her junk on me whatever it is.

Whatever it is I think is envy. Of course she says it's because our children are not able to grow up around each other, we have aging parents, and we need family around. She knows I have problems here, and that's why she told me I was "stupid" for letting D move me here..I was stupid...

I regret that I thought I could talk to my sister about things like I thought I could. I realize that her attacks are getting worse because she has never called me stupid. I wonder why she keeps building with her cruelty in words? I think she is wanting to dump her load on me, but why?

I think because she is envious in her thoughts because I am down here and I don't have to deal with what's happening there, but she doesn't deal with what's happening anyway in her own life, much less aging parents, and barely her disabled child. Pisses me off that her and my mother use him as a scapegoat a lot of the time!

Actually, I have dealt with more 800 miles away than she has living right next door to our aging parents. I'm really tired of her stupid comments because the same things she is saying really are more about her than me!!!

I don't wanna take her abuse, but yet I don't want to let her dump her garbage on me either, so I don't know what to do, but I know what I would like to do!! There would be only one way because I've been pulled into a shouting match with her before, and I hated it....there's no communication because she will block it where she doesn't have to hear anything you say, so it's a waste of time, energy, and I'm left holding all the emotions about it.

She wants to complain about the butt I'm married to, but yet she's acting just like him.

I've always said they are the ones that should be together. Maybe that's what it is. Damn that would solve all my problems!!!!!!!!!!:)

If that doesn't work this time around I'll try to get her in a merry mood with spirits and keep her there....ugh I DREAD THIS!!! I don't even wanna go.

I'm ready for 2009!


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