I've had several realizations recently.
First, I realized that the reason that I did not react when my wife first began verbally abusing me is that I was already used to hearing the same stuff from myself. Although the words were different, the tone was familiar.
Second, I realize now that I seem to have reduced the amount of that negative self-talk. I think it's because, in my naturally passive way, I just started to let her do it, instead of doing it myself.
The third one is the funny one. Now I start to feel that I don't like that kind of talk about me!
So, in a strange way, I seem to have transferred the insulting talk to someone else, then decided to cut out that person to stop the talk. The only question is, once I'm alone again, will I need to resume talking to myself that way?