Well just found this area. Hmm maybe I should be posting the difficult stuff here and keep the forum talk a little less complicated.
Sometimes it is just a little easier to understand when it is written out. Then again, sometimes when I find the truth I realize I was more comfortable in my delusions. Right now I am frightened. Need to see psychiatrist tomorrow and scared to tell her that the meds aren't working, because I don't want her to move onto something stronger.
TBH I also kind of enjoy being a little off sometimes. I mean when I am not busy trying to get anything done, my constant need to daydream can be entertaining. It's like I get to feel what I imagine normal people feel on drugs, when I don't take drugs. If only the converse were also true.