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Trigger warning enter at own risk



OK I didn't know where else to post this because it's a sensitive subject. I didn't know if it would fit in sexuality or if it would be dumb to put it there or general coping. So here it sits.

At my main job this morning I went to break with the guys as usual. One of them mentions a news story he'd heard about a guy getting raped. Most of them immediately started cracking jokes about the guy's masculinity and was the guy's name that raped him Bubba and he must have dropped the soap etc etc etc....

When A said that they got it wrong that the guy was raped by a woman every last one of them busted a gut laughing. I heard eveything from some guys have all the luck to you can't rape the willing.

So I just had to pipe up. I said it wasn't impossible and they should have a little empathy for another person. I had 9 men staring at me like I had 2 heads. Then A looks at me and says (like I'm stupid) How could it be rape? If his dick got hard he had to be willing.

I was dumbstruck. All of them nodded their heads like this was just common sense and I was ignorant.

So I came to my job here and had to get a second opinion. While I was inside buying my lunch to take out here I asked a group of guys I know if they had heard the news story. They hadn't and when I told them they all cracked up!

Is this a guy thing? Do most guys think this about men getting raped? Or do I just have the good fortune to work with some of the most callous assholes ever.

I realize that this is a sensitive subject for me. All I could think is wow if ANYONE had laughed at me like that or expressed those ideas I would have killed myself.

These same guys though during the conversation got on the subject that any guy who rapes a female should have his junk cut off. So why do they have no sympathy for some guy this happens to?

Is it a type of defense mechanism? If I think it's impossible and it didn't happen to that guy it can't happen to me. Is that what it is?

Either way it made me inordinately sad. I truly hope this poor guy gets help and doesn't run into schmucks like the ones I work with.


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Just think about how this poor guy is going to be treated in the justice system, if people who don't even know him think that.

I think it is one thing for men to hear about a woman getting raped but to hear that a man is raped especially by a woman is unheard of. But the statistics still stand that 1 in three women and 1 in eight men are sexually assaulted. And I think that the ideas that these men had about if he was able to get an erection that he had to be asking for it and enjoying it, is also the reason why so many men think that is it not rape if a woman is enjoying it. The point of the matter is if it was unsolicited sexual behavior by either a man or a woman on either a man or a woman it is assault. PERIOD. More men need to be educated about this matter.

Good for you for trying to bring prespective to the matter in front of a bunch of men!!

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Wow I didn't know the statistics. That is so sad that so many have to endure abuse.

Yes I think education is a must. I wonder how much those statistics are off? I mean I know that there are women that don't report but think how many men don't report it.

God forbid that one of the guys I'm working with had that happen but after hearing what all the others had to say and how they think about it. Would one of them report it? Or would they just think my body betrayed me I must have wanted it what's the point in telling someone?

Don't get me started on the justice system and how rape victims are treated. It is truly abominable!

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