Well, my brother drove up to support me and we went to see the lawyer. She was quite old, and although she seemed knowledgeable, she had a tendency to ramble instead of being as focused on the issues as I had expected. And the retainer she asked for was huge!
But I did learn that it ought not to be desertion either to change my auto-deposit or to leave, so in that sense, it helped. The plan for now is to set up a bank account and a P.O. box and prepare for the financial separation.
I'm leaning heavily on my brother for both emotional support and interim financial support, but there's even a chance I'll get through this. :-)