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You know, I do have a cheerful side



Well, sometimes anyway. I know I pretty much just whine in this place but that's because I can't really be honest in meatspace. If people knew how bad I was hurting they'd be repulsed. Nobody wants to hang out with the negative guy. As Morrison rightly observed, faces look ugly when you're alone.

On top of that my swings are erratic so people wouldn't be able to figure me out if I didn't give them a predictable pattern. I'm already the "quiet guy" who gets ribbings about being the next one to go postal but in reality I wouldn't hurt anyone except myself. Even when I think about suicide I worry about leaving too much of a mess behind, & I'd probably move out of the apartment so that my landlord doesn't have to try & rent out a condo somebody died in. Is that the type of person who blows up a Krispy Kreme? I don't think so. Doughnuts do sound good though.

I hope that eventually I can post more positive stuff here, but right now I am pretty sure I'm messed up and this is a place where I can sort things out without having to maintain an image.


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