If they hurt you, it still hurts even if you asked for it, and then you get to blame yourself on top of it all. If they don't hurt you, you still feel the need to be hurt and so take to hurting yourself. It's a defense mechanism that gives the illusion of control but does more harm than good in the long run. Though admittedly, giving up the illusion of control is terrifying.

So...what's going on? You ok?

I am okay. Trying to navigate family drama.

That sounds not fun.

I hope it resolves soon.