Well, it's about 4 in the morning right now, and I couldn't sleep any longer so I decided to update my profile here and enter my blog as well.

I am currently staying over with my daughter at my parents' house. My mother's birthday is coming up in a few days. My husband is joining us here that day to celebrate, and then we'll be going back home with him.

Joe (not his real name) seems better now. A month ago he told me he was seeing weird things happening around the house, something that really worried me. I thought, isn't it enough that I had to live with depression without my husband having problems coping as well? How are we going to rise from our situation now?

I am depressed, and my husband is hallucinating. And a few days ago, in my anger I shook my two-year-old daughter because she was being difficult. A few minutes later she vomitted. Suddenly I realized what I had done and I forgot why I was angry. Even she appeared surprised that she threw up. After I washed her I held her close and told her I was sorry. She seemed fine after that.

Joe said that it's better that we resort to spanking than to have her experience being shook like that. I know that what I did was wrong, but I also think that spanking is no better than shaking.

Right now, there's less stress here in my parents' house. I am glad I still have them to help me out with my daughter (I'll call her Baby Girl).