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So, I've been having trouble with friendships for some time now. I feel like I can't keep them, only at a superficial level, but when I get close to them, they pull away. Right now I'm in an okay situation with my friends from high school, but only because I don't share anything personal from my life. My best friend is self absorbed and talks about herself all the time, and when I talk about my life she doesn't care, like she just says things like 'oh that sucks' and then goes back to herself. There is this girl in college that is in my friend group and sometimes attacks me for no reason, like today she said I was fake because I laughed at a girl's joke, and the other day she said I do make up like shit (I know, it's stupid, but it still hurts because I feel her maliciousness). Things with my boyfriend are not going well because we've been fighting about petty reasons recently, but ineedy and it's mostly because I act needy and demanding all the time. I don't mean to, but at the moment it is like I can't control myself. On top of it all, my dad has been fired from his job. So i really dont know how to improve my life.

Hello. I've found myself in a situation I don't know how to deal with. First of all, I have to write something more about my personality. I'm a guy, 22 years old. I'm very introverted person and rather shy. I don't talk much, I don't feel comfortable in a group of people; I'm socially awkward. I prefer spending time indoors in activities such as: watching a movie, reading, getting to know things, listening to music, playing video games, browsing the Internet, sometimes drawing or watching football. But most of all, thinking about basically everything - both mundane and very deep, philosophical things. I know my value, I know I am a good person. Helpful, listening, honest, kind, (however now I sound pretty selfish ) caring, sensitive, etc. I'm able to live with people, just very little of them. I don't think there's something seriously wrong with me. I am happy with my life - I love my way of living. Yet, I have never really had any friends. Not to mention being in love. About a year I've met my (now) best friend. First and only special person in my life. She's very similar to me (she has a real, deep soul) but less awkward, shy; more brave, funny and a bit outgoing. We trust each other completely, we spend a lot of time together (only 2 of us), mostly talking about everything. We just love being together, no matter where, when or what we are doing. We're basically true soulmates. Of course, we have had our ups and downs. If we have believed that such thing could be said about best friend (not lover), we could say that we truly love each other. She says I'm the most important person in her life (excluding her family, of course) and I'm everything she would need from another human being. Even being together in silence makes her feel good and happy. But even though we are so very close to each other, I sometimes feel that I'm not the best friend I would like to be. Because I'm unable to be. Even though she says I'm someone extremely special, I feel that, because of my social awkwardness, my shyness and way of living, I couldn't give her any great fun or give her amazing memories that she would remember for years. And even though I know (with my brain) I can trust her completely and I believe that we will be best friends for many, many years, I feel (with heart) that she deserves someone better. More funny, outgoing, unusual. When she says she's going to the movies with other friend, I feel jealousy. And fear of being rejected. My brain knows it will never happen, but my heart is scared. I don't know what to do. It used to be much worse in the past. Now, as we've been best friends for over a year, such feelings come to me very seldom, but it still happens. And then I feel that I have nothing really interesting or impressive to tell her, to give her. That I take too much and have nothing special to offer. Sorry for the long post. I don't know if you can help me. I just want to be the best friend she would ever have. I want her to be happy. Maybe it sounds weird, but... I know I'm enough, but these feelings... they keep coming back.

Hi this is my first post, it took me some time to find courage to talk about this, I've done it with a couple of friends that I really consider friends, anyways this is my story, any advices will be really appreciated. (english is not my native language as I am from El Salvador, I speak really well yet my grammar is not that perfect). When I started school (about the age of 6, right after kindergarten) I was a normal kid, my parents had trouble with me when cause I was very slim, not sick but slim and they worried, so they gave me vitamins and stuff which made me chubby, and since the moment I was born i had inherited a big mole above my upper lip, its not big enough to cover my face but not small enough to be not noticeable, which from about the age I mentioned before, the other kids started making fun of me because of my mole, at the age I didn't really care because I was very smart, I talked and got distracted in classes yet when the teacher asked me about the lesson i always answered right and was top of my class, this continued until i was 17, I've always been very smart, i can learn things without any effort, and by the age of 14 i was very arrogant, also my teachers gave me harder assignments to test my capacity which made the other kids bully me more. Also when i was young my family lived in a quite bad place so i spent most of my time at home, i had about one friend, which when we grew up, we liked the same girl and since he went to the same school he began making fun of me like all the others. When i reached 15 in high school things became harder since I began liking girls and the bullying became harder to the point that sometimes my entire classroom would make fun of me, by that time I didnt trust anyone anymore (besides my family, we had some issues but they've been always for me and supporting me even with financial problems) and that made me feel really insecure. I also was a boy scout, my father was the leader and made me have a really nice time but again since i was good at making things there, the other kids will made fun of me at some point (when my father wasn't around). Also when i was in high school I tried to get closer to girls but since I was the kid everyone made fun of, they rejected me, i met one but i was afraid and ended up pushing her away. since then I haven't been able to make friends, im 26 now, i have barely any friends and the ones i do, sometimes i feel like i cant trust them, even though they have show me i can trust in them, my relationship with girls is disastrous, because sometimes i like too much a girl and end up pushing them away or being too awkward, the only girlfriend i ever had was a girl in the USA which was too young for me, even though we stayed together for a year but had to break up because of the distance. I had a group of friends before but i got to a point where i felt they relied on me too much, i was the one organizing parties or setting the place and time to go out, also with most of the people if I dont start talking to them they wont talk to me, and i barely know that to talk about, since i like talking about politics, science or smart stuff, even comics or technology (im a very geeky guy) and most people just dont talk about that and i feel normal topics are just to vain or stupid. anyways, i've been feeling very lonely lately because even if i meet new people, they just end up like everyone else, getting away or perhaps being pushed away by my personality, there is no much psychiatric help here since we got a bad public health system and private its quite expensive atm, also all my life ive been chubby (im trying to lose weighh now but its hard cause sometimes i dont feel motivated at all), now a bit fat and makes me feel very insecure because i like to dress well but i cant since clothes will not fit me as i wish. i failed about 4 years of my university classes which made me lose the few friends i had made in there. even though all those things, i have a job, finishing my university degree and own a motorcycle (honda cbf 125 2014 ) which makes people think im just grumpy or not satisfied, which sometimes i feel like giving up, because its like im trying to fix everything bad at the same time, losing weight, making for the lost time at university, trying to make friends, dealing with my job (tech support at sony, and sometimes the customers are extremely stressful) and dealing with my country problems, like gangs and the mental insecurity you get with all the media, plus the economy its not good here. Sorry that its quite messy what i wrote but im trying to include as much details as i can, feel free to ask to know more about me and if you have any suggestion about what can i do, i will be glad to hear it