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So I'm bipolar...


lostINoblivion
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Today I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar II. I felt some relief to know that what I have experienced for the last many years is not my fault. It means, also, that the research I have done and the gut feeling that I have bipolar is officially real. On the other hand I don't know how to feel. I am confused because it doesn't make me feel any different, except a slight peace as I described at the beginning of this post. I am still the same person and I still face the same difficulties that I did yesterday and will tomorrow.

Does anyone else have similar feelings?

I also find myself struggling just to get through the day most times. I don't feel much except for the constant desire to get through work and get home to be alone, but even there I don't have quiet because of our 9 month old son. It is a struggle just to exist most days. Can anyone relate?

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As the father of an infant myself, I can relate to the part about home not being a refuge anymore. Babies are wonderful but they are a lot of work!

I can also relate to the part about the relief, and the relief not being huge, but just small relief. It's nice to have the anticipatory anxiety associated with not knowing what is wrong be resolved into a conveninent handle that you can now research and work on and be treated for. This is just a stage along the way, however. Knowing what something is doesn't change that thing. All the problems are still there. But now at least you have a direction to go in. And that is a small resolution which results in a little relief. Enjoy it for what it is, I think becuase the newness of it will wear off soon enough and there is always something to be depressed about :)

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Yes it is good to actually know for sure so that the right meds can be prescribed. Before, my diagnosis was major depression and PTSD. I was medication resistant. Now my diagnosis is bipolar NOS (but probably Bipolar I according to my therapist) and still PTSD. Since I am on lamictal and lithium I seem to finally be getting some results. With lamictal alone I became really weepy and emotional. I think having all those feelings was actually good yet too much. But after the lithium was added now I am more even keeled.

Anyways, I am sure y'all can get the meds straight and you'll be on your way. Congrats on the baby. :)

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