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too serious too young?


merffie1
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I'm elated and concerned about my relationship. We love each other deeply, we share a lot, and we've created a complex web of history and references. I'm worried that I'm in over my head. I think about him almost constantly. When I'm not thinking about him, he's not far off. Lately I've been thinking a lot about marriage. I imagine what it would be like to be married to him, the problems we'd face, the happiness we'd share. The thing is, I'm not nearly ready for marriage. Neither is he. I still think of it as something far off in the future, yet right now it's prominent in my mind. I'm 20 and he's 23. For both of us this is our first serious, loving relationship. Circumstances are a problem: I still have three semesters of school and his job ends in August. Neither of us know what continent or state we'll be in after a year and a half. We've grown closer and more compatible in the last few months (we've been together a little over a year). In some ways we act like we're already married. He occasionally refers to me as "the Mrs." or "wifey." We have similar values when it comes to raising children, pursuing a career, and building a household. I know I need to focus on the present, that I'm too young to think about future finalities, but I can't get thoughts of marriage and serious commitment out of my head. I'm in a very transitory place in my life right now. For all I know I'll be a different person in a year and a half. It's important that I leave myself room to grow and mature. I'm worried that by bogging myself down in a serious relationship at this stage, I'm limiting my options. Plus, part of me feels I would be missing out at the post-college dating scene. At the same time, I love my boyfriend and the idea of breaking up with him is devastating. My mind and my heart are at serious odds. Any advice?

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There is no need to rush into things. If you are meant ot be together forever it will find a way but as far as getting married don't rush into it. I was 32 before i got married. I just don't have very good luck with women LOL. But i even think this marriage jumped in to quick. she got excited and jump into the marriage mode now there are alot of problems that we aredealing with. Before you even think any more about marriage maybe see a marriage counseler before jumping into it or even having any more thoughts. But most of all if you really love each other love will help you wait.

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My first marriage I was 15.... long story he was a biker member of the Pagans... god I hope this is anonymous.... 2nd 19 ... as of this FEB 14 will be 20 years. we are seperated now...... but no Hon... you do what you need to do with school .. him too.... if meant to be it will work out. I remember the thoughts you have... just take care of you ... and let him be who he is... it will work out if it is meant to be.....

JT

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