sick&tired Posted April 15, 2008 Report Share Posted April 15, 2008 hey pals ..i really dunno how to start this,1st of all my english is not perfect because I'm not english or american,i'm palestinian(arabic).my sadness is killing me .. although everyone from my family & friends think am the happiest person .. i always cry i always feel bad,always lost btw 3 circles hate pain and regert ...im just damn tired ,i really need something to get me out of this.depression is killing me day after day,when am happy and i laugh from inside i know am faking and am not happy at all ..this life ate me alive,this life made me sleepless and hopeless ,i swear all i want from this life is PEACE OF MIND .. i wanna get rid of the pain ..i wanna see my mother again,she died and she was dreaming to see me,i used to let her down everyday,make her cry everyday,she used to sleep outside my room on the ground just to make sure i dont do anything to my self,once (this is one of things killing me)i spat in my mother's face ,cause i was fucking high and on drugs.thats making me lose my eyes because of crying.she died after 1 year and before i make up to her,im crying on everything i did to her,she was always there for me,and i have never been anywhere for her,she loved me to death,she was dreamin to see me,but i was away from home (((now am sick and tired of this bad memory ..this thing makes me lose control and regret.i wanna see her just to tell her i dun do drugs anymore,i wanna see her and tell her am fine,i wanna buy her a gift,i wanna make her smile ..i dun want anything from this life .. i just wanna see my mother again ..i swear i dun sleep sometimes because of her ..and when i do,i do very light sleep(2 hours)i cry in my dreams sometimes,i wake up and my pellow wet because of my tears ...this pain will never leave me alone ,i believe in this,cause she's dead and i cant let her come back again .I'm very sad depressed desperate and severely tiredafter she died,i became lonely,i dun go out,on my comp lsning to music,im not intersted in anything,i smoke too much .. my friends keep calling me to go out with them,but i always refuse .. alwaysand i feel nothing is my type anymore,i cant swallow this life anymore,im not intersted in anything out of my room ...(only holidays)at work .. am very busy and they say am workoholic ...i work 15 hours everyday .small things can make me cry ... i eat alot ...and when i think too much i start having pain in my stomech,and my knees sometimes.i cut my self from my family,i dun visit them anymore,i dun call my great father although i love him so much ... i love my brothers too,but i dun talk to anyone anymore ..am so sorry guys if i botherd ya with this post .. but i really needed to take out in here ..thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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