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I just feel like crying!


closer2mydreams
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I just turned 20 years old on January 15, and I feel as if my life is going no where, and I sort of secretly blame my mother and that nasty guy she is here living with. Sometimes it seems as if she only want to make her self happy and doesn't care much for me my sister or brother.

Sometimes she can be so rude, and it's like she doesn't even know she is doing it.I can't tell you the last time I hug my mother. I care about my mother so much and its like she doesn't even know. I would literally hurt any one that tries to mess with my family. Her nasty boyfriend of 9 years is very sick in his head and I do not like him, he violated me when I was younger and I have came to that realization last year.

Sometimes I have these days where I want to cry but nothing comes out of my eyes. But I have been exposed to this so call religion called Scientology and I am realizing a lot of things within the action of these people I live with. And sometimes I am feeling like I should just call the police and make these reports on these criminal that have done me wrong, I AM THE VICTIM, not them! I feel like I have no life sometimes. It's like no one can hear me crying out for help, someone just help me please.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi closer2mydreams,

What a wonderful age to be, 20 years old.

You know what, it is time, I believe, for you to get away from your mother and family. I do not know if you have a job or if you go to school but, being on your own and making good and close friends is extremely important for you. You need to become your own person and no longer rely on your mother for hugs or love. You no longer need to defend your family. Now, it is time for you to forge your own life, separate and apart from her.

What do others think?

Allan

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It is easier said than done. I feel so scared sometimes of just being on my own. My life has no sense of direction, sometimes I feel like I am depending on my older fiance to get a place so I can move in with him. But he is becoming to much for me and I am to young for all that drama he wants to bring my way. He is trying to fill my head with all bad things about my family, especially my mother. I am working on a job, but school is not an interest to m e right now. High school was so hard and it took me even longer to finish that, but I will be attending next year spring.

Sometimes I think things will get better if I just file a police report against my mother boyfriend because I really can't take him.

What do you think Allan?

Hi closer2mydreams,

What a wonderful age to be, 20 years old.

You know what, it is time, I believe, for you to get away from your mother and family. I do not know if you have a job or if you go to school but, being on your own and making good and close friends is extremely important for you. You need to become your own person and no longer rely on your mother for hugs or love. You no longer need to defend your family. Now, it is time for you to forge your own life, separate and apart from her.

What do others think?

Allan

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Closertomydreams,

So, did I say it would be easy? :)

You are right, it is not easy. And, I agree about your boy friend. Why not find a girl friend or two who want to move. Many young people do that: they move in together.

I also want to urge you to find a psychotherapist. You need emotional support to help you during this time of change.

As for your mother's boy friend is concerned, unless he has hit you, etc, there is nothing much you can do. She wants him and that is probably that. Besides, you need your own life.

Allan

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My life is so messes up that I don't even have friends. People make it hard for me to trust them. And I was sexually abused by my mom boyfriend, I just never reported it, I just tried to deny it as I got older but it didn't work, but he thinks he own me. He don't know it, but I would seriously hurt him! And you are right I do need a change of scenery.

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