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Marriage counseling


Karl13
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:mad:Well we had our first marriage counseling and our poor counselor got an ear full although I didn't get to say much. The counselor was just starting off by asking us about our family and how we got along with them. That part went just fine. Then it started, the counselor started asking us about our communication with each other which is one of the many reasons we are here. And just like when ever I try to talk she has to throw in her two cents before I could finish talking and sits there and starts talking over me. But I think that was a good thing for our counselor to see because it just me a reason that I don't like talking to her, she doesn't let me finish, and she doesn't hear what I actually say. I will say something and she will hear something different then later on try and tell me that is what I said and swear by it. And SHE WONDERS WHY I DON'T TALK TO HER!!

On the way home we discussed some of the things that the counselor talked to us about and tried to make some type of effort to do some of the exercises and (Well my exercise) talk to each other when something little was bothering me that she did but when ever I have something to complain about she has an excuse. Another exercise is for us to have a notebook and instead of jumping in when the other is talking right down a key word or phrase that will take you back to what the other said (Both of us). On the way home I tried to talk to her about the little things she does that bothers me to get it off my chest because that is one of my exercises that I am to do and again I try talking and she jumps in front of me again. I guess I need to buy her a notebook real soon so she can have a chance to stop interrupting me.

Being that this is the first counseling that I have ever been to it is hard to judge how it went but at least it was a start. Depending on how long we go for will probably make us or break us. I would like it to work out but if she thinks she can continue to control me then it will end because I am not a slave, I AM NOT YOUR PET I AM MY OWN PERSON AND IF YOU DON'T LET ME BE ME IT WILL BITE YOU IN THE ASS!!!!!:mad:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Trust me dude, I've been there. Only problem is that I couldn't get my g/f to go. When i asked her previously, she said sure, no problem. When the day came around, she said "Why should I go and find out what I already know"? (meaning that it was me with the problems)

Needless to say, I went to 2 sessions alone before I quit. Realizing that without a joint venture, we'd get nowhere. But I can sympathize with you. I was always wrong, nothing was ever good enough, and I was constantly told what I really meant when I said this or that.

We ended up going our seperate ways last year but the fact that she never heard/listened to what i was saying, and never tried to understand my side really bothers me. So much so that I'd like to smack her with a 2x4 to wake her up to reality. But then again, some tihngs you just can't change. I loved her so much that I even started doubting myself, and lost myself trying to make her happy. In the end, I had to make myself happy and she can do whatever. I not happy we're apart but I can't play that game any longer.

Guess you gotta rach the point that I did. One year later and I still hope she breaks her neck! Or comes face to face with someone that will put her through the things that she put me through.

Ditto your "I'm not your pet" statement.

Good luck!

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