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Hello, I am married to a 38 yearold women with a personality disorder for eleven years, she has a bachelors degree in Business management and is (on the outward appearance a very classy lady) she knows she has a problem but like what I have learned from these disorders she believes other people are responsible for her problems(especially myself). My question is how do I help her. We have had a rocky marriage but we do love eachother . I know I am not the problem but I do not want to aggrevate hers. She doesnt have insurance so that is an easy excuse for her not to get help, in the past she has had help and she ends up getting them to think her mother, father or myself is the problem. If anybody can help I would apreciate it.

Thanks Jim

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Jim and welcome to our community,

Marriage problems are never the fault of just one person, even if one of them has a personality disorder.

Can you tell us more about your marriage and how you found one another as well as more about your self?


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I think my first response some how failed to go through, I first would like to say I do not blame kelly for all of our problems, I deal with my own issues. We saw a doctor on Monday and after talking with kelly she told us that kelly needs to get the personality disorder under control before we work on the marriage issues. About me, I am considered quiet and laidback, I have had extensive spine surgeries that have left me disabled. I was a maintenance/engineer manager at a plastic factory for 10 years, I graduated high school in 1985 and have trade schooling. I like to fish, hunt, travel, spending time with my family, I have a son that is 14 and a daughter that is 11 from a previous marriage. I met Kelly at work 11 years ago and we have had a passionate relationship to date along with the rough patches, we are very good or very bad. I am very gulable I am told , my biggest problem is with dishonesty, it tends to make me seem jealous. I am not sure how deep you want me to go so I will let you guide me. Thanks so much for your time


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