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Hiding in the Closet


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I am 18, and have been hiding in the closet my whole life. I knew I was not normal from early on, but could never exactly tell what it was about me that was different than the other kids. in the fifth grade i realized i had started having an attraction towards the guys and not the girls, and knew from then on. After trying to push it away for the majority of my life by having a girlfriend for 2.5 years (now broken up), and just trying to keep all homosexual thoughts out of my head. after my sophmore year of highschool, i decided to not fight my feelings anymore, and try to presue and embrace all of my feelings, no matter if somebody elese disagreed. The problem was, and still is, that i am not ready to come out. There has never been the right time, or the right person. I have a gay aunt and a gay uncle, so i know that my parents are fully accepting of gays, but that doesnt really matter...i just dont want my parents to have to go through a life changing thing like this. Anyways, My junior year of highschool was possibly the hardest. There was one guy who i thought I could have been with, but instead, he is with one of my best friends who is a girl. It hurts to hang out with him on a friendship level beucase he has absolutly no idea how i feel, and we have never had anything more than a friendship. Also, he is just a touchy guy anyways, so he kida gives me false hope.

The main point of me writing this is becuase i am stuck and i dont know what to do. I am at the point where i want to be in a relationship with a man, but with out comming out of the closet, it is extremely hard. I really just dont know what to do, and i need some advice. Please help me with any words or advice you may have. thank you.

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It sounds as though your family will be accepting of the way you wish to live your life. I would say that you should do what makes you happy, life is to short to have regrets. Try talking to a school counsuler or someone you can confide in before you make any moves. As far as the male friend, if he is not gay, then I wouldnt pursue that avenue cause you could lose a good friend. But again, if your family is supportive of you, a lot of times that is all the backing you will need.

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