how do you get over 5 years of infidelity?

[cara83]

I've been with my partner for five years. In which time I've had problems, with going out. He's always said he loved me and would never hurt me, and that he understood my problems. But recently I've found out that my fiance has been cheating on me for years. On the internet, when out with friends. And he had an affair with someone I know, and now I just feel completely humiliated.

I wanted to walk away, but couldn't because I love him. I've had nobody but him in my life for the past six years, and the idea of never seeing him again was too much to cope with.

He broke down and told me he loves me, and has changed, and is sorry. It'll never happen again, and now he realises how much he loves me. But I don't understand how someone can love another person (really love them), and yet sleep around and confide in other people behind their back. Be intimate with other girls/women.

It's been over a month now since I found out about it. I still cry every day, feel so worthless. I was getting better, finding it easier to go out, and was starting to feel happy and hopeful until this.

Worse, I caught him out. He'd never have told me if I hadn't have, and even put me at risk (if you know what I mean). Thankfully I've been checked out and am okay, but I don't understand how he could have ever loved me (been in love with me) to do that to me.

If it was a one night stand I could have got over it, but it wasn't. He kept going back for more. He was on dating sites for years, every site on the internet I discovered.

For the past few years he's shouted at me, paid me less attention and I didn't see him as much as I used to. I never clicked though. Now I feel stupid. He always said he loved me. Always told me he'd never cheat on me, because he's been hurt himself. I never thought this would happen. He seemed different to most men.

I feel completely shattered. I'm not as young as I once was, mid twenties now. The idea of finding someone else scares me.

I was so bubbly once, I just don't know who I am anymore.

Has anyone else been through this ? I just don't have anyone to talk to about it.

He promised me the world when I was going to leave him, but a month later he's back to criticising me, and getting mad at me. I know I sound feeble. I'm really not, I give as good as I get, but my lungs can't take anymore arguments.

All I ever wanted was to be loved. I guess the saying's right 'no one will love you unless you love yourself'

I just am scared that every man is the same. How do you meet someone nice ? If you have problems.

How can I get over what he's done ?

Can someone love you if they've repeatedly cheated on you ?

Sorry for sounding negative.