Trying to find help since christmas

[Duemin]

I live in south jersey and there are some places to go talk to people, But the earliest appointment i could get is at the end of MAY!

every day is getting harder for me, Hard time sleeping, not eating, drinking a LOT, etc.

Basically dealing with loosing my job because i was obsessed over my girlfriend cheating on me 3 years ago at Christmas time. (i kept hacking the company firewall in order to check her email, im logs, etc) because i believed it was still happening.

It got to be too intense with anger and distrust issues. She kicked me out of the house. We kept seeing each other almost every day, being intimate, etc. Just not living together. Now this past Christmas she tells me she has a online friend she met, that they had never met, etc.. i found out by reading more of her IM logs that she has been sleeping with him multiple times. Sometimes the same day as being with me!.

For some reason i moved back in! i cant sleep, its the same bed they used, etc. I am a extremely emotional person, very needy type man. I Need someone, ANYONE to talk too, None of the hot lines that i can find for around here are even in service anymore.

Please if anyone reads this and wants to IM me or email or even call to talk about things before i end up loosing my mind. I would appreciate it more than you can imagine.

im: nawz260

email nawz260@aim.com

Thank you all, I hope someone can help before i do even more stupid things to drown this pain.

-John

[kaudio]

Welcome to the community, Duemin. After reading your post, I think you have been going through a difficult experience. I am familiar with some of the feelings you describe about your girlfriend's fidelity. However, there is a point where you decide to continue working on the relationship or ending it.

Certainly, this decision should not be made in the midst of powerful feelings like anger and distrust. But, when you can relax a little, try to review your relationship with your girlfriend and decide for yourself what you wish to do.

In the meantime, can you speak with a counselor or a priest? Some communities feature walk-in clinics for people to sort out their issues. Even if you are not religious, a priest should be able to talk with you, offer some perspective on your concerns, and give you suggestions for seeking out local support. There are also hotlines, like 211, which can connect you to local social services.

Do feel free to share your thoughts with us, and please consider some of the suggestions above. Self-medicating with alcohol is only a short-term solution which may exacerbate symptoms of depression. If you can, try to limit your alcohol consumption. Instead, milk and eggs will help a great deal to give your body the fuel it needs.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Deumin,

I also want to welcome you to our community.

As a past New Yorker, I am fairly sure that Southt Jersey places you somewhere between Philadelphia and New York, but, closer to Philadelphia. I would urge you to seek counseling at one of the many health centers in Phila, although, there are some in Southern Jersey as well.

I agree with Kaudio that you need to get help with the drinking. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the relationship problems are an excuse for drinking and the alcohol is a problem in and of itself.

Also, why do you keep going back to someone who cheats on you? Hasn't it occurred to you that this is not a relationship worth keeping unless you enjoy suffering pain, anxiety and lack of trust? Why be with someone you cannot trust?

Have you started looking for work elsewhere, especially in New York or Philadelphia?

Allan