Mark Posted March 6, 2008 Report Share Posted March 6, 2008 A quote to make the point. The last line of the movie Annie Hall, by Woody Allen. Alvy Singer: It was great seeing Annie again and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'well why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but uh, I guess we keep going through it...because...most of us need the eggs. Many, if not most adults end up getting married, forming a domestic partnership or similar arrangement. There are various reasons why this happens. Society encourages it for one thing. It facilitates parenting and easy access to regular sex (if things are going well). It banishes loneliness if we are lucky and is a source of love and joy and a retreat from the stress of the world. For a lot of people, their spouse or long-term partner becomes the center of their emotional life, and a figure of great meaning and importance and love. At least that is how it is supposed to work. Theoretically. It doesn’t usually happen quite that nicely. It's easy to enter a relationship with smiles. It is a far more difficult thing to keep a relationship healthy and strong over the long term. Many relationships end up having problems, the romance goes away, and the reasons for staying together get thin. Some relationships become abusive, while others suffer from simple incompatibility. The partners realize they want different things. Many relationships break up, often after a period of great pain and stress and soul searching as to how could this happen. This is not abstract stuff. If you live for a while you are likely to end up living through rough periods in relationships, and relationships that die. Partners that die, too if you live long enough. Being in a troubled relationship is intensely painful as I can speak to from experience. In the case I'm thinking about, I wanted to make it work but couldn't figure out how to do that without compromising myself in ways that weren't going to work. We went to therapy. It helped some but not enough. Ultimately I decided to leave. Leaving that relationship was, without exaggeration, one of the hardest things I've ever done. This forum is a place where people living in troubled relationships can talk about them and receive support from others who empathize with their situation. It is also a place for people who have lost a spouse or partner or other significant loved one can talk about that painful experience. What sort of relationship problems are you having currently? If you are grieving, how is that going? What is the nature of your loss? These are universal sorts of stories you will be telling. By sharing your experience, you will be comforting someone else who will be able to relate to what you say, and feel less alone in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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