I dont want to waste their time

[sciencegirl]

Tomorro morning I have a doctors appointment to talk about how I am feeling right now.

I am so worried, i just don't know where to start. I don't know how to tell them what I feel without feeling silly and feeling like I am wasting their time when other people who are actually ill could be seing the doctor instead of me.

I have just been signed off work sick for a few days because I feel like I can not cope with my life anymore, not that there is anything to cope with. Last week i burst into tears at work, i felt like everything was ontop of me, everything was happening for a reason and i didn't even know why i was there. I have had these feelings for a long time. for the past couple of months i have rarely eaten, i have no appetite, i just don't want to eat, it doesn't appeal to me. I am going 2 - 3 days without sleeping, i just lie on my bed doing nothing, not moving, i feel like i can't, i will spend about 20minutes just thinking about sitting up before i manage to do so. Its like everything is a massive huge effort, i have no energy or interest.

I hate the thought of being with people, i feel like they always have better things to do than talk to me, but deep down i kinda know that is not true, they are my friends and they are really trying to help me right now, but i feel like i am just a burden and dragging them down too.

I dont even know why i am sad, sometimes i am happy, but not for long, because i start to feel guilty about things that i dont even need to think of feel guilty about. Normally at work, i can cope with everything and it never sees to bother me, but these last few weeks, i just cant, i start to panick, i can't smile and people ask me too and it just makes me feel worse.

My question is, how do i tell the doctor this? will they just laugh at me and do you think i would be wasting his / her time?

Thank you for this, its so much appreciated, i just can't go on like this.

[crowyhead]

Hi sciencegirl,

I totally recognize what you're feeling -- I've been there, too, right down to calling into work because I felt like I couldn't handle it for reasons I couldn't name.

The doctors will definitely NOT laugh at you. What you're describing is interfering with your life and your health, and the doctors will take that very seriously, trust me!

Also, I want to compliment you: you are going through some really hard shit, but you are doing really important things to take care of yourself. You recognized that there was a problem and you managed to make an appointment with a doctor -- that's a big step! And you also have enough perspective to be able to tell the difference between the way things feel and how they probably actually are. For example, you know deep down that your friends really do care about you. That kind of perspective and knowledge is going to be so helpful while you work with your doctors to get yourself out of this, and it's impressive that you can hang onto that even when you're feeling this bad.

Please keep us updated on how your doctor's visit goes. I hope they can help you find some short and long-term solutions.

crowy

[Mark]

I second crowy's sense of things. If you've not gotten out of bed for two or three days, are feeling very low, having stray thoughts about harming yourself, and judging yourself harshly, chances are good you're experiencing some kind of mood episode in the depressive spectrum. That's how mood episodes tend to present. Most any doctor you visit and tell about these symptoms will respond positively towards you. They will not think you are crazy - they will think you have a medical condition, and perhaps offer you a medical treatment (e.g., antidpressant medication) to help you cope with the situation.

A medical doctor will most likely prescribe medication, becuase that is the sort of thing they are trained to do. Keep in mind that there is very good non-medical psychotherapy treatment for depression that is scientifically proven to be effective. Look into cognitive behavioral therapy for depression, and/or interpersonal therapy for depression. Talking with a therapist can work wonders and doesn't have side effects. It tends to not be covered by insurance very well, however, and so may cost you more out of pocket.

Mark

[Lalu22]

Hey, Sciencegirl~

How did it go with the doc?