Why does living have to be so hard?

[renol]

I was wondering if anyone can tell me why living has to be so damn hard. I've been told before that life is what you make it, it's only as hard as you want it to be. If there's a way to make it easy or at least meaningful I'd like to know. Having a crappy day today and not even sure why other then I haven't been able to sleep very well lately and having a lot of nightmares. Mostly just feeling really tired, not physically, just tired. Tired of everything, especially tired of therapy and trying to make a broken life work. It's kind of like your not even half way up this huge mountain and you just want to sit down, give up, it just doesn't seem worth it or even pointless to climb any more. Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Renol,

Well, I do not believe that it is as simple as "life is what you make it." There are tragic circumstances that impinge on the lives of people from time to time. There are hurricanes, wars and so on. However, I do think that there are ways for all of us to ease the way. What I mean by that is, that there are ways to make life easier. That does not mean easy. There are times when we are happy and there are times when we are troubled.

It seems to me that you are fairly depressed. I do not know what type of psychotherapy you are in but I would recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in which you can learn to restructure you thinking so that you can learn what thoughts and misinterpretations make you unhappy because they are false or distorted and which realistic thoughts would help you cope better. Then, too, sometimes medication along with this really helps.

Tell me: do you have the happy times to remember? Do you try to remember them???

Allan

[smallstar]

I don't think that remembering happier times while you're already so depressed is a good idea. I think, and this only my opinion by the way, that remembering happier times will only make you long for those times making you more depressed. That's like trying to live in the past and I think that is unhealthy and it is something I try to avoid. Instead I think you should try taking up new activities or a change of scenery, maybe that will give you a new interest in life. Make new happy times. But dwelling on the past I think will just make you more depressed. I think that life is what you make of it to a certain extent. Kind of like mind over matter. However it's not really that easy, actually if you ask me I'd say it's pretty hard. There will always be things that happen that will be beyond our control but we just need to learn how to cope the best we can.

[merylou]

I agree with Renol, why does life have to be so damned hard????? Alone and fighting these demons is not much fun and I can't look to the future as I do not see one. The only hobby I have is reading and op late even that has gone by the wayside. I feel like I have crossed the road but can't get up the curb on the otherside without some very determined HELP. Where do I get it????????????????????????

[renol]

The therapy I am in is cognitive behavior therapy. Don't like taking medication and terrified of doctors haven't been to one since I was a teenager. As far as happy times to remember - no. Although therapy is helping me with that I am now able to see a very few glimpses of happy times. Growing up my life was hell. As far back as I can remember I had always hated life, or at least my life. I don't have happy times in the past to remember and when I think of the future that's even more depressing and scary.

I'm learning to deal with the past although it's difficult for me to let go of the past and forgive. I like therapy but frustrated with it right now. Therapy has helped me crawl out of a very deep dark hole but now I feel like I've crawled out of this hole just to face an enormous mountain to climb. I'm not nearly as depressed as I used to be but still not liking life a whole lot.

Things beyond my control I think I can handle a whole lot better then things I can control like what I decide to do with my life, whether or not I choose to be happy, whether or not I choose to let people get close. Tornado, hurricane, broken bones, even death I can handle.

Thanks for agreeing with me merylou, life shouldn't be so hard. I know it's just my perception of life that makes it hard but having difficulty changing that perception.