katieth Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 I am a twenty six year old mother of two that has lost not only my parents in the last five years, but my entire way of living. I became pregnant with first son at 18. He was born in 2001 and completely changed the way I look at life. Me and my mom have always been close, but this brought us even closer. My mom was perfect in every way and the closest to an angel I have ever been in contact with. Many people describe her this way. In 1999 my only brothers first baby died after three weeks of life support. My mother was devastated for everyone involved. She tried very hard to be there for everyone. When my son was born it brought back memories, but we cherished every moment. In August 2002 my mother(who has never smoked a day in her life) was diagnosed with lung cancer. After a year of taking her to chemo and radiation and watching her waste away to a former shell of herself, she died. She held on for as long as she could, and the memory of her last weeks will stay in my memory forever. My father was lost without her, and it kept me busy to tend to his needs as well as my new family.(fiancee and son). Two months later my fiancee called me in histerics at work. I managed to figure out where he was and pulled up to see my baby boy walking aimlessly around the courtyard outside his fathers house. His father had died in his sleep. This all happened in the year 2003. In 2004 I found out I was once again pregnant with my second son. The past year had been spent buliding my relationship with my father. We had not always been close, but after the passing of my mother we bonded. He was so excited for another grandchild and stayed by my bed as I had complications with the pregnancy. I called him often, but on April 1st of 2005 I called and his cousin answered.(My father gave him a place to stay, he was down on his luck) He told me my father passed away in his sleep. My father had a multitude of medical problems and even recieved a kidney transplant 3 months after the birth of my first son. The doctors all said he was doing great. The drive from my work to his house haunts me every day. I kept expecting to pull up in his driveway and find it to all be a joke. The next several weeks were spent trying to deal with his death and the normal dividing of the estate. My brother was wonderful and we dealt with eveything the best we could. I gave birth 26 days later and quit my job to stay home full time. My second son had colic and took up a lot of time. Losing my parents was extremely difficult. We had a leave it to beaver family growing up filled with family get togethers every Sunday. After my father died, every one went away. No one gets together anymore which makes holidays unbearable. I watch everyone have somewhere to go, and family to spend time with, but me and my family are left alone at home. My mother never really had a true family, but my father has two sisters and a brother. I do not speak to them and they do not call. We are a burden to them. NO one understands that the death is not the hard part, but everything that follows. Everyone says they will be there for you, but dissappear after the funeral. I do talk to my brother regularly, but he spends a lot of time with his wife's family. Once again, we are left out. I want my sons to have the great holidays and family get togethers I remember, but that will never happen. I have not had time to grieve either of my parents, because I do not have the time. I do not have time to break down, because I have to stay strong for my husband and sons. How do you deal with losing parents, and an entire family, an entire way of life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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