I feel helpless

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This post is just me venting. I need a place to talk about this stuff, so many little and big things are piling up on me and I'm not sure where to sort it out.

I feel kind of helpless today. I know it will pass, but it's not a very comfortable or constuctive feeling. I'm feeling helpless and hopeless particularly today because I'm facing a couple of my chronic issues: disorganization and procrastination.

I am going through some piles of old papers trying to find a form and I am seeing something I usually ignore: all my old bills, forms, coupons, mail, old job stuff, schoolwork, almost anything paper that I don't feel like dealing with piled in a few boxes.

Anyway, I just feel like I will always be like this, a kind of life failure with piles of unprocessed unsorted paperwork. I keep trying because I have to, because I know everyone does. But sometimes I just look at these things and wonder why I am so incapable of dealing with is appropriately and efficiently. I wish I could just shred it or burn it all up.

Then, I start fantisizing about living in the wild or as like a homesteader where the only things that matter are the things that are truly important: food, water, shelter and the people you love. Modern life is just so full of crap and I wonder if I am really equipped to succeed in this society.

But I guess I'm just making excuses for myself, and I know living in the wild is probably much harder than this cushy civilized I've got. But is it really so comfortable when the stress to keep it together is always on your back? I am currently unemployed and broke, but that is another huge problem... I digress.

I guess I am just making excuses for myself, but I'm getting kind of down and I'm not sure how to think about myself and my failures in any other way. I think I'm being honest with myself. But it's not pretty. Where do I go from here?

If only I had like a million dollars, I could probably pay someone to help me sort through all this crap and it would be fixed in a few hours, maybe it would take a few weeks to clear up some of the backlog of things I have ignored, but not more than that. And I could go back to school and get professional training for a career that I can get a secure job in so I will always have a stable income. and I could buy a house and a car, so I always have a place to live. And I could even put some aside in case I ever get laid off so I can still pay utility bills.

But I don't have a million dollars or any way to obtain a million dollars. On the contrary, I am in debt.

I think I am getting caught up in feeling bad about myself and sorry for myself. Ummm... I guess it's probably not all that bad. :confused: ugh, I'm just venting. I will pull it together, I guess.

I'm trying to think more pratically now, does anyone have any tips on being a more organized person? I don't mean how to physically organize stuff (that could be a part of it), but more like how to make yourself feel and act in a way so that one is more likely to organize and face up to day to day stuff with ease, so one won't feel overloaded with small things.

[Guest GingerSnap]

Well, break what needs to be done in little steps so that mentally you aren't overwhelmed. I have so many projects and sometimes I just stand there and think that I should just drive away from all this stuff. So, really I just try to pick one project that I put a deadline on at a time and it has to be a realistic goal so that today, my big thing was getting the bananas into the food dehydrator - many of them and I have done that so I am taking a little break and having a Moon Pie - today, a banana didn't really sound good! So, everything else I do today is just "gravy" and it will be a lot of "gravy" but at least, the bananas aren't sitting there looking at me. Sometimes, I am so busy I don't get my hair combed so I decided that unless the house is burning down or someone needs to go to the emergency room, I am taking the time to comb my hair in the morning. I hate "paper crap" - I dump everything I can and have a file box with only the necessities. All the undone things weigh heavily on one's mind and just overwhelm you so pick out one thing, do it and celebrate that and tomorrow chose something else. You must have successes of some sort to keep going or so that has been what I have seen.

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Hi Gingersnap,

This is great advice. I will do this. I think I do tend to think of everything at once, I feel like everything needs to be done now, then I am immobilized. I will make a list and prioritize.

I don't know why I get like this with my stuff, but I guess I don't need to dwell on the reason I get overwhelmed and instead I should just get moving with what needs to be done and go from here.

Thank you for the encouragement.