Update on "Reportable ethics violation??"

[Lalu22]

Some of you may remember how totally knocked around the bend I was by my H's T's charging us $135 for a no-show last December after he'd kept me waiting 35+ minutes. My h was detained at work and rather than wait the ten minutes it would have taken him to get there, or begin with me, the T booted me out and billed.

In January I wrote him a letter asking for fee reconsideration and/or explanation, which he ignored. Then I told my T, his partner, to ask him for a no contact boundary in the waiting room, which he also ignored, or didn't interpret properly, because he later came at me, trying to justify his decision to bill. I waived him off and almost passed out from anxiety. It was the disregard for my interests and feelings, when I thought I was in a safe place, that triggered me. Caretaker abuse.

So this month, after my h had the experience of waiting 30+ minutes, getting fed up and leaving, which scared me to think of paying another $135 to this man for nothing but the opportunity to sit in his waiting room (exploitation by caregiver), I wrote him another letter. I told my T I'd done it and yesterday he told me he'd spoken to his partner and that he had written me back. (I wonder if he hadn't interceded if I'd ever have gotten an answer.)

Anyway, he agreed to reduce the fee for the December appointment by half. My h ended up going back and keeping his appointment that he'd walked away from earlier this month, so that wasn't an issue. T explained that as policy, if he were 30+ minutes late his patients could leave a note saying they couldn't wait and he wouldn't bill them.

He said, and here is the piece I didn't get, that he couldn't have seen me alone back in December without my h's prior consent, because that could damage their therapeutic relationship. We had signed confidentiality waivers, but not permission for seeing me in h's absence. Previously T and I had actually met for 90% of a session alone, because my h was late, we started without him and T didn't think to check the waiting room, so I think his explanation was not 100% credible. Back in December if I'd told T H was on the way, we could have started. Instead, I said I didn't know, so he pounced on the opportunity to declare a no-show.

He did apologize in his letter, for not giving me his reason for booting me out in December prior to doing it. And I got $65 back. So all in all, I am satisfied. If H had called to say he was running late, rather than spacing out, or if he'd actually shown up on time, none of this would have happened. And I got all kinds of wonderful growth opportunity exploring the transference, LOL.