Taking A "Break" From A Relationship?

[Guest GingerSnap]

While I have no intention of doing this, I am wondering why this would be beneficial, taking a "break" from a relationship? :confused: My husband feels that if I move out that he would feel motivated to change (and then we could be together again) then but I know that when I move out, I file for divorce the next day. For some reason, partners don't often take the threat of divorce seriously. My first husband (a 5 year troubled marriage) was shocked to be served the papers that I promised were coming and looks like the second husband (and last) will probably find himself in those same shoes. Whatever! This time, finally, no one will be allowed to take my plans away and I am so very excited about all the possibilities since I will finally have the life I planned for. Husband has no plans but has two weeks:eek: to give me a written theme entitled "This Is What My Life Would Be Like If It Were Good (Needs Met) and This Is What My Marriage Would Be Like If It Were Good (Needs Met)". I know that doesn't seem like much time but he had 27.5 years and decided to wait until the last minute!

[silentmist]

I've never been in a relationship with a woman but what is 'taking a break' ? lol ... I think the only time I've ever heard of this was in one of those comedy shows from the 'friends' series.

Perhaps you both need to have some 'personal space' ... would it be possible to have seperate bedrooms ?

[Guest GingerSnap]

Yes, we are fans of "Friends" and I know exactly what you are talking about. We are already in separate bedrooms. My husband has motivation issues when it comes to the family. He did tell me this afternoon that he was thinking taking a break as in living in separate dwellings might not be a good idea (because I promised to file for divorce, I guess). I think that he thought if he had a break and lived alone that he might be inspired to make necessary changes to his relationship with the family. He knows he is losing his "grip" on being first and only.

[silentmist]

Hey Gingersnap

I've just read some of your other posts and I had no idea of the context of your concerns.

Are you really against the idea of your husband moving out for a while ? Maybe he feels that thats the only way he can deal with his sexual urges or something.

I kinda get the impression that from the way he keeps saying "I don't know" means he's very confused and is finding it difficult to be emotionally self-aware to a useful degree. I don't know how intelligent your husband is but we men never really get to explore our feelings with other guys and thats a shame, it deprives us of the level of insight and articulation that most woman seem to have.

I had no idea about your situation Gingersnap and I have to say I'm concerned about you and your husband. Theres' been some creepy info in some of your posts and I think maybe talking to someone from the police might be a worthwhile precaution, not for punishment but for protection. No one should be assaulted for any reason. Just a thought.

[Guest GingerSnap]

Silentmist: Thank you for your concern. We looked at our "funds" situation last night and there will be no problem with me leaving in the spring - just keep pinching pennies. I realize the possible danger here. And, by the way, he is "pure evil" as in a dark entity impossible of change. Know that I don't believe this is a mental health issue and in no way do I believe that anyone with mental health issues is evil and I have great admiration for those that seek help, great, great, admiration. This morning I have told him that I no longer wish to discuss or help him resolve his issues and, it gets more involved than that as I am not the nicest person when provoked. Anyway thanks again, my best