cant think of a title

[Donna]

i read posts here that are so sad and want to say something to help but i dont know how to say it without being stilted and emotionless,and know that whatever i said wouldnt make any difference anyway

it's even harder when it's about a problem i dont have cos it might make me feel sad i might wish i could wave a magic wand but at the same time other than the lonliness anger of fear that comes with anything bad so i cant fully relate to it how can i respond anyway, that would in a way be or appear to be false.

But if i can relate to it the only way i can respond is by giving MY experience of it which then turns into a me me me post and it's not intended to be.

i also have great difficulty expressing myself and have a need to explain every little thing just in case somethings not clear so whatever i do say becomes some way off track, gibberish non sensical ramble like this post (im even doing it now!) and sound like a mad woman.

im always embarrased when ive posted worried ive said the wrong thing, offended anyone then think well who am i that my opinions and feelings about anything actually count so why the hell would anything i have to say offend anyone anyway that im so up myself that i could believe that for one minute.

but then i feel bad because i make a statement like that and it looks as though im asking for pity or reassurance or something and im not..which no doubt sounds defensive and a million and one other things,and when i say that i worry about the way that could be taken ,one worry about something ive said always leads on to a worry about that and it's a never ending circle.

there are also a millon and one things i want to ask and post my worries fears etc about but feel bad if i do and it holds me back.

i thought coming here would help me be able to talk and interact with other people without feeling like this yet in some ways it's actually harder...now i feel like that might be misconstrued and could be taken the wrong way and worry and want to explain that which would lead to yet another worry needing another explanation and on and on!

im not even sure or can really remember the purpose of this post other than now i want to ask if im the only one who gets and feels like this. thats if it's actually legible in any shape or form, damn im pulling my hair out here!

hah! even this has turned into verbal vomit!

Edited September 16, 2009 by Donna

[Guest GingerSnap]

Donna: I think you have said, in a long way, is what a lot of people feel. I wish that I had a magic wand too but no one has that. It just seems like the issue I came here for is so strange that no one else has experienced it - makes me feel so special, not! Many of the other issues, I can't deal with even reading about and I am sorry for that and still others, I have no answer for but believe me on this one Donna, because my situation is so strange and I was at a couple of other forums, just having someone say anything, even if it is that they are sorry to hear or hoping things get better or resolved in some way - that is more helpful than you can ever know and if someone says "I have been there" pure ecstasy! Yes, sometimes I wonder if what I have to say will just not be right when I respond and hope I don't offend anyone but the only other choice is to just ignore everyone. In college, I read all this deep thought and religious materials and came across this "Indifference is the essence of inhumanity". I enjoyed your post. My best

[ManyFaces]

Gibberish indeed =) Take a chill pill and stop worrying so much! Speak your mind and stop worrying so much what people will think of your posts. If your heart is in the right place it will show though. Besides, hearing how someone else has been able to cope with a similiar situation is always helpful, even if you think its turning it into a "me me me post."

[Guest FourAnchors]

Thank you Donna for writing what you did so I didn't have to!! LOL