roamer2 Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 i just found out that the last relationship was a deffinate rebound. and that has been my patteren for the last few. i need to know what the do's and donts are?im trying to heal from this and need to know if i was wrong on some things. i read articles that say dating and flings are required for a rebound.if in a relationship with someone who is rebounding is that actualy acceptable?to let them do what ever they want while you sit wait and suck up your boundaries and feelings?she said she needed to look at the possibility of dating (nothing sexual) she needed to meat new people.is that just bull? (i took it as bull)she said she needed to do these things because she dident want a rebound relationship with me she want ours to last and she needed to "find herself" and if it ment dating then she had to. that it would help us to last in the long run.i read several articals that said the same but think this is bull.am i wrong about this?she dident want to break up with me and really dident want to date but if its something she" had to do she hoped i would be understanding and give her the time and space she needed.again i said bull. am i wrong? i think that she believes that if she gets out to "test the waters it will take the rebound out of our relationship. is this the wrong way to do it?when i broke up with her it was because she looked up a man very simmilar to me on the on the internet contacted him and went to coffee with him right after i asked her not to. i confronted them bot and they said it was just coffee and nothing sexual. i was furious she said she wasent going to stop having coffee with him and i went off big time. i dident cuss her but i took a detailed inventory of her and us and threw all the broken commitments and agreements and promises directly at her.was i to hasty? was i out of line? i need to know these things i feel it will help me heal faster.i have actual proof they have had sexualy based conversations and that made me madder. i think to an extent shes trying to get revenge on me for some comments i made that i dident realize was wrong also. was i wrong for breaking up with her?i know she does love me. there is no question there she kept telling me that she wanted a long term commitment but wanted it to be right and i know she has cried since i broke up with her.. she said she really wanted to get it right with me and dident want it to end at all. i know her family and thats how i know so much. although before i broke up with her i told her she had a choice its either coffee guy or me and coffee guy is still there and im not.was i asking to much?should i trust that this is just a process of just meeting new people for a new life and not a sexual or partner search????????i know that i shouldent allow just anything so i ask you all this. in this case what should i allow and should i date none sexualy???what do i do please help!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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