Should I drop out???

[AvenRoss]

Hello I'm 17 but by far I have been through more then most adults, I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, but i think i also suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, anyway, currently i have trouble dealing with the stresses of friends and school, actually i don't have any friends, and i'm too scared of rejection to make any. I'm thinking about dropping out of my high school and pursueing gettting my GED instead, right now i just feel like i need to get my life and mental situation in order, before i can pursue anything else...

what should i do?

my father will be so disappointed and angry if i drop out, he doesn't understand how painful and stressful it is for me to go to school.

I've already missed appox. 30 days, whats the point in continuing?

[JulianP]

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Edited February 5, 2010 by JulianP

[AvenRoss]

I was born into a domestically abusive houshold, except unlike most domestically abusive housholds, my mother was the abusor, she suffered from bipolar disorder as well, she was promiscuous and constantly pretended to be my older sister instead of my mother. She cheated on my father with a man who I saw as my god father, she would scream and yell and break stuff she would make me lie and at the age of seven she told me my father was a pediphile (he's not) but the lie made me sacred of my father for 5 years of my life, i wouldn't hug him, or tell him i loved him. she caused me a lot of pain and the pain resulted in me growing up a lot faster then a normal child would.

Hi,

It is admirable and brave that you put the question out there. It is good to

seek feedback for issues that you are unsure how to respond to. It is especially admirable since I imagine, the most “relieving” path for you to take is to simply drop out.

Before I specifically respond to dropping out, I have a couple of questions. You say you have been through more than most adults. I am wondering what you have been through? – if, of course, you decide that is something that would benefit you to share with us. Also, first you say you have stresses from friends and school, and you go on to say that you have no friends. Does NOT having friends cause you stress? Why do you suppose you don’t have friends?

There are some fairly standard answers you should expect to get from adults re: dropping out of school. For the most part, as I am sure you can predict, you will be strongly encouraged to stay in school and “tough it out”.

Before I can say either way, I wonder if there are things that you can work toward to make school a better experience for yourself – not just academically – in fact, from my perspective that is secondary to creating something fulfilling and perhaps even working passed whatever prevents you from connecting to and enjoying your peers….. and enjoying yourself in the process. I have no doubt that you are intellectually or academically capable of finishing high school, but again, doing that on its own seems like a pretty crappy, and even self-abusive idea if you anticipate being in pain or miserable every step of the way.

You are at a very vulnerable, yet powerful stage in your life. I really care more about the message you will be sending yourself based on whichever decision you make. If you drop out of school now, are you setting yourself up with a frame of reference for “giving up” or taking the easy way out or worse, selling yourself short and dodging a solution that might offer you a more fulfilling frame of reference that you can take with you to future experiences and situations in your life?

These are all important things for you to consider. I am so sorry that school is difficult. It seems to me that whatever conflict you have about school is a conflict within yourself, that also exists outside of school. Sometimes when we are around lots and lots of people and there are guidelines or rules and curriculum, for example, then the feelings we have are magnified or intensified and it all seems unbearable. Unfortunately it is very likely that school just sort of goes on, with or without you, and isn’t capable or equipped to specifically give consideration to your fears or sadness or stresses, which doesn’t feel very good. Since school is not equipped to give you the considerations you much deserve, perhaps it is time for you to learn to give those considerations to yourself and bring them with you to all areas of your life, including school, so that you discover that you have all that it takes to live outside of the fears and stresses, which you have sadly become accustomed to.

I hope my questions and feedback somehow contribute to the most fulfilling decision possible. I also hope to hear more from you. Thanks again for putting yourself out there as you did. It takes a lot of courage and integrity to do that.

Peace,

JP

[JulianP]

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Edited February 5, 2010 by JulianP

[Guest GingerSnap]

Have you talked with the counselors at school about this situation, at least about the dropping out because of personal issues? I would really discourage dropping out. All the school systems that I know of have psychologists in the system and alternative education. Alternative education really works for a lot of students since it gets them into the "education" part and really decreases the social pressure of high school. I always thought the kids in those classes were "bad" kids but I got the chance to work with them and they were good kids getting a chance for an education without the social temptations and pressure. I wish you would at least talk with the school counselor and tell them what you are feeling and they should be able to direct you to any services that would be available for you.