Books By Patrick Carnes

[Guest GingerSnap]

I kept hearing that Patrick Carnes was some sort of sexual issues wizard. What a joke! We got a copy of "Sexual Anorexia" having been led to believe that this book would be a guide to developing sexual intimacy, yeah, with yourself! I am so old-fashioned and Bible based that I had no idea he was going to discuss masturbation and mutual masturbation, etc. and in just looking it over I wanted to vomit! Then he gets into sexual fantasy big time. I just don't see masturbation and sexual fantasy as sexual intimacy. His suggestions about the mental/physical were off especially from a female prospective. One really big error is pushing the masturbation really hard in the first 3/4 of the book and then all the sudden he mentions that it would be a bad idea to engage in it if you were a sexual addict? I just scanned it in horror. OK, no more books in the house on such issues unless they have a Godly and moral content. My husband agrees. Upon edit: I realize that after reviewing a lot of materials on "psychology" that they all sort of conflict with my faith in God and I have come to some conclusions about that. I always totally analyze every detail of something before trusting it to impact on my life if there is a choice. Never blindly trust and if it seems wrong in your heart, it is wrong for you.

Edited November 30, 2009 by GingerSnap

[ClownWithafrown]

some of his other books are not as bad, I have the same view as a Catholic so I know where you are coming from.

I read:

Don't call it love

and

out of the shadows

Both where pretty good since there is not allot on the subject.

I just skip over anything to do with homosexuality, masturbation and fantasy.

Its sad but on allot of medical board docs are still in denial about sex addiction.

[eNIGMA]

Never blindly trust and if it seems wrong in your heart, it is wrong for you.

It's pretty funny, but that's exactly how I feel about religion. From that perspective, any man-written book that says sexuality is wrong or sinful, is not a book I trust to live my life based on. Or that's my take on it anyhow. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions.

Regardless, having inhibitions about sexual experimentation or communication, in the context of a loving relationship, seems entirely self-defeatist in the pursuit of 'developing sexual intimacy'. You may have some ingrained feelings of shame with regard to certain sexual activity, but try to open your mind some. I'm sure there are other sins like murder or theft you can focus your attention on Be free! You might enjoy it. And I'm sure the big man upstairs left a little wiggle room for the whole 'being human' thing.

At least that's what I'm planning on hahah

[ClownWithafrown]

Didn't think that our posts required an attack on our Religion.

I have nothing against homosexuals or people who masturbate or chose to do anything.

Not my call to judge.

But she had the same problem with the book I did.

Meaning that those sections were not for us.

Now if we could all post with charity.

God Bless

Edit:

I'm sure the thief said the same thing to Moses when he came down from the mountain

[eNIGMA]

I didn't attack anyone's religion. If you read my post, I used words like "How I feel" and "From that perspective". Why does every view contrary to a religious view have to be seen as an attack on that religion? I used her own statement to explain my thoughts on the subject.

My advice stands own it's own merit regardless. Breaking down your inhibitions will give you more room to explore intimacy. Period.

Edit:

Also, for future reference - Trying to make a point to an Agnostic by using what he would probably consider to be fictional biblical references, is like trying to paddle upstream in an imaginary canoe. =P

Edited May 27, 2010 by eNIGMA
Edit

[Luna-]

Please gentlefolks, let's not stray into religious argument? It always gets upsetting and triggering and isn't helpful to anyone. These are deeply held views most of us base our lives on and of course we'll disagree. We already have wars going on in the world over this and it's just too polarising a topic to bring into a support forum where we come for acceptance.

If I understood Gingersnap's post correctly, she was commenting on a book by Patrick Carnes, what it was about and how it didn't fit her beliefs. Let's get back to that..? Please?

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi,

I agree with Luna and, cannot seem to see where anyone was attacking religion. Is everyone getting a little sensitive??

Allan

[eNIGMA]

Don't get me wrong, I love to debate. But that honestly wasn't my intent. Either way, Clown and I already made nice on his other post.

<3