I just dnt know

[Sweetmom2]

We moved alot when i was young and i adapted more than building relationships. At the last move frm gr 10 to 12 i was severely depresd. I fell in with a group bt they didnt know me for real.i wore a mask. When i talk to someone i wear a mask. Smiling no probl bt uninvolved distant. Then i got married and hav 2 kids now. I only hav family and near(bt distant friends) i feel a huge wall betw us. I want to discuss my probl with a prof bt get so anxious that i avoid it.my mind is in constant battle with my will. To make friends and let them in and c a psyc. Bt i cant. is this a fear of intimacy, adhd, avoidancy,depres.