Intro to me and my experiences

[LiQuidDreamer]

Hi everyone. I was searching the internet for some answers to some problems I have had with mental health. I have done this for over a year now and have not had any luck finding anything, but this time I tried some different keywords in my search and I found this board and it seems pretty much in line with what I have been going through, so I have decided to try my luck and register here at this message board.

My name is David and I have had some issues with phycosis in my life, specifically in the last two years.

It all started early in the new year, in January 2006, where I actually thought I could hear voices in my head.

I also actually believed that I could communicate with my my friends and acquaintances telepathically.

I was really getting out of touch with reality and starting to see and imagine life in a very strange way.

I told my parents and family about this on the first Saturday night in 2006, and not knowing what to do or think, they called the police. The police decided that I had to go the Behavorial Health at the local regional hospital, so the police escorted me, my Dad and my sister to the hospital.

I was in the hospital for 3 days while they had my under observation.

Since this time I have been taking risperdal, from January 2006, and am on it to this very day.

The risperdal seemed to help and for the rest of the year I have not had any problems with phycosis like I did, and I no longer believe that I could hear voices in my head or that I could communicate telepathically with anyone.

I was doing fine in 2006 and I got a new job and I was doing okay, trying to build my life back together.

But in March, 2007, my grandfather died. I liked him a lot.

Then I started having physcotic episodes again. I started believing that I could see things that I knew in the back of my mind weren't there and it got pretty bad and once again my parents decided it was best to take my back to the Behavorial Health Clinic.

I was there again for another 3 days, and this time in addition to risperdal they gave me Seroquel to take.

I don't know if my grandfather's death had anything to do with this.

Then, the next, my other grandfater, on my Mom's side, died.

While we were making plans with the family for a second funeral, I went into another physcotic episode. This time I believed that I was pregnant and was going to have a baby and my Mom decided I had to go back to Behavorial Health. My sister and my best friend went with me and admitted me. That was certainly a very surreal experience.

From somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't really pregnant but that did not stop me from telling my friend and my family.

I was in BH for another 3 days.

The whole time I was in BH was very surreal and didn't seem like it happened and I just felt very weird and very out of touch with reality.

I had to miss my second grandfather's funeral because I was in BH.

In June of 2007 I got fired from my job and have been out of work ever since. It was because my supervisor did not like me and she was very strict and fired me because we had a big potluck where everyone brought something, but because of my work, I could not sit in with the rest of the team and I had to get back to work. My supervisor was upset because I did not want to socialize with the rest of the team, which was not true, because I like to socialize with people, but the nature of my work had a deadline on it to be done at a certain time so I had to finish my work and put that as a priority.

Currently I am still unemployed and that has not helped me out any because I am constantly on high anxiety and I am wondering how I am going to support myself. I wonder how I am going to make the payments and keep my car, and keep my cell phone.

I still feel that I can hold down a job if I am lucky enough to find one, and I hope to find one where there is a reasonable supervisor.

Luckily I have been able to keep my problems with my phycosis confidential, and the whole time I was in BH the last two times, no one at work knew about it.

I would like to see if anyone could comment on my situation. Does it sound like I need disability, or should I try to get another job.

I currently am getting Outpatient Mental Health Services, and I see them once every couple of months.

I just had an appointment with the doctor just last Friday.

Since my BH experiences last May of 2007, I have not had any other kind of phsycotic experiences. I have not heard any voices, or believed anything outlandish or outrageous since then.

I would like to say that I feel better now but I have to constantly keep myself on vigil, and I have make sure that I am can still tell reality from all the crazy things I have been thinking.

Right now the doctor has given me Risperdal again so I am still taking that.

In November the doctor took me off the Seroquel.

As I told the doctor at my appointment the only thing I feel right now is some depression and a lot of high anxiety about trying to pay my bills.

Currently I live at home with my family. I am very lucky to have them in my life to take care of me and I know they love me and I love them too.

I just am concerned about how things are going to turn out and I would like some opinions if anyone else has went through anything like this, or what I should do next.

Thank you!

LiQuidDreamer

[Natalie]

Hi Liquid Dreamer-

Could you give us more information about your diagnosis/diagnoses? It would be easier to talk about the "course" of your condition (i.e., what is going to happen across time) if we had more information.

I also encourage you to read our Schizophrenia topic center if you haven't already, as we talk about all sorts of disorders (beyond schizophrenia) that share psychotic thinking as a symptom.

[Mark]

Welcome Dreamer! Thank you for joining us.

I wanted to comment on the disability issue, but I'm not sure I have enough informationt to do so intelligently. Mostly, I guess what I'm thinking is that a job is about more than just money; it is also about feeling productive and about being with other people (even if you don't like them all (which is normal) it is still nice to be able to work with people). There is often some pride to be had in having a job; a feeling of self-esteem. There is also structure in a job - you have to show up every day and there are things that need doing. All off this is good stuff even though it comes with hassles too. So if you can ultimately find another job, that could be a good thing for you.

You will want to stay on the medications which are helping you stay oriented to reality and to dampen down your symptoms. It is really wonderful that they have been helping you. Staying on meds and adjusting them if that becomes necessary (which it has in the past) will require ongoing help from the doctors you're seeing, and from friends and family who can comment on how you're acting.

Mark

[LiQuidDreamer]

In answer to your question about my diagnosis:

All the doctors who looked at me were not able to give me a single diagnosis or tell me exactly what I was going through.

When I stumbled upon the MentalHelp.net site I read some of the things, specifically what it said about schizophrenia and phycosis, and all the things detailed under what phycosis is sounded exactly what I was experiencing.

I know that's not much help but then the doctors have not been too much help in assisting me with this situation, thanks.

LiquidDreamer

[LiQuidDreamer]

Welcome Dreamer! Thank you for joining us.

I wanted to comment on the disability issue, but I'm not sure I have enough informationt to do so intelligently. Mostly, I guess what I'm thinking is that a job is about more than just money; it is also about feeling productive and about being with other people (even if you don't like them all (which is normal) it is still nice to be able to work with people). There is often some pride to be had in having a job; a feeling of self-esteem. There is also structure in a job - you have to show up every day and there are things that need doing. All off this is good stuff even though it comes with hassles too. So if you can ultimately find another job, that could be a good thing for you.

You will want to stay on the medications which are helping you stay oriented to reality and to dampen down your symptoms. It is really wonderful that they have been helping you. Staying on meds and adjusting them if that becomes necessary (which it has in the past) will require ongoing help from the doctors you're seeing, and from friends and family who can comment on how you're acting.

Mark

Hi Mark

Yes, I am continuing to take the medications and it is helping even though sometimes I don't feel like it is working, but the fact is, I do feel more oriented to reality. It is now coming up on a year now since I had I was taken to BH so hopefully I won't have to go there again.

And my family is also helping me not just financially but I am sure they are keeping an eye on me.

I'll let you all know how this goes in my posts here. Thanks!

LiQuidDreamer

[Natalie]

Hi-

That must be really frustrating to not have a label for your symptoms. Or, it may be freeing on some level, as you can just think about having some different problems rather than being a person with "X". Some general things to consider- some people with psychotic thinking type disorders do go into remission (i.e., get better). The factors that increase the likelihood of remission include:

1) Taking medications as prescribed (not going on and off them when you feel better or worse)

2) Learning about your particular set of strengths and building upon those as you go about daily life.

3) Conversely, learning about your particular thinking or behaving styles that are not helpful and how to react to/cope with them, particularly when you having a bout of psychotic thoughts. You may need to enlist a helpful other to get you through the bad times.

4) Maintaining a consistent, scheduled routine (not overscheduled or excessively rigid, but relatively predictable).

5) Eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep.

6) Maintaining a group of supportive people that can help you when you need it